Kristine Johnson's Crotch Is Prime Real Estate

CBS 2 News apparently considers Kristine Johnson's netherparts suitable to project some branding as well as some handy info.

All I know is that it's 82º down there. Heyooooo!

Meanwhile, Maurice DuBois (it means "of wood") has leased advertising space on his ass to local restaurant Fernandez Steakhouse.

And in surprising unrelated news, correspondent Alice Gainer apparently has appeared in the Jeremy Renner movie "The Bourne Legacy." Hoonoo.

Granny Say What?

"Give it all you've got?" Does a Granny really say that? Is that even #17 on the list of things she'd ever say? "Give it all you've got?" Is Granny the head coach of the Houston Oilers now? "Give it all you've got?" Why not "Get some?" "Go big or go home?" "Pain is temporary; victory is forever?"

"Give it all you've got?" Jesus, Granny, you need to lay off the 'roids and pick up knitting again. You're scaring me.

Just When You Thought We Were Through With "Jeremy's Family Reunion."

Here's that clip of the dance party without any music:



And here we've added some music so that it's not so ridiculous:

Let's Slap a Saddle on the EADJ Mail Sack and Ride It To Cactus Gulch!

Submitted by Beth Stone, a strangely sexually-charged McDonald's paper sack:


It's illegible, but the copy below the provocative headline reads: "At McD's, we serve you the kind of sausage we like to eat, with 0% filters and 0% extenders."


And if that weren't enough proof that Ronald is sporting a chub underneath his yellow pantsuit, here's a recent McDonald's print ad featuring the world's most famous porn star: