Spotted at Target

Quite possibly the worst fucking idea for a FAMILY GAME that you could ever play.

UAG

UAG

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"A lion with dreads holding a gun behind a stack of gold bars is stupid. So let's have two of them."


Hey, since Gucci Mane just lazily slaps dumb rhymes about bitches and cars on beats, let's lazily slap his head, tats, and chains on top of Mark Wahlberg's body in the movie poster for "Contraband" . Who cares if it makes Gucci Mane look like he's got crippling back problems?


"Okay, so your hip-hop name is Smoke, right? Well, Smoke is also the name of a professional-grade online editing and finishing system for broadcast by Autodesk. There's also a motion graphics and compositing software by Adobe called After Effects, and it would be really clever if you named your album 'After Effect.' No, trust me, it's cool."


Wow. Just wow.


If you're going to do a riff on the flag of California, why would you replace the bear with Oscar the Grouch? And why does he have shades on? Has he been smoking up, too? Too many questions, Game.


(I posted a comment here, then erased it, then posted another, then erased that one, realizing there's no comment that could make this album cover any more enjoyable)

New Teen Law

"From this day forward, all teens must end their names with an exclamation point with a weird triangle as the top part."

A Rule of Thumb For Musicians

When coming up with a band name, if you want to avoid the cut-out bin (or the free CD box at some office), maybe not titling it "(insert violent act) (insert woman's name here)" might be a good idea.



Some exceptions: Alice In Chains, Flogging Molly, Jane's Addiction, Bikini Kill, and Bludgeoning Whitney Houston.

Oh, Fuck You, CNN.

(pictured above, live breaking news)

Curlz Close Call.

(pictured above, a font that looks like Curlz at first glance, but ain't.

5 bonus points for being in a shitty Popeyes.

10 bonus points for having shrimp that look like dicks.

15 bonus points for inadvertantly reading "This jambalaya is dumpin'."

A new beginning for Joel.

2007 promises to bring new hope and dick to Joel. He has resolved to make a new start and has already quit his job as a CompUSA greeter. He will now devote more time to writing screenplays for Tatum O' Neal's new series "Wicked Wicked Games." To show their faith in the project, the studio MyNetworkTV has even purchased an additional one episodes! Way to go, dick eater!


Joel has also reportedly lost more weight. He is now a healthy 130 lbs, although his liver only works intermittently now. Atkins-tastic!

(pictured at the top: kitchen renovations on 24 force a Trekkie –Trekker, whatever– to forlornly stroke his Tribble mouse cover)