This Year in Hip Hop Awfulness

It's easy to damage a car you don't own.

This resembles a game you play in Chrome when the internet is down.

Tron Light Sycle + Eevee + futuristic landcape = ????

I don't understand it but I like it.

You gotta feel bad for a manager who books a rapper for a show and the guy gets raptured.

My kitchen counter before I got a cutting board.

Not a very effective eye chart if you already know every one is Erick the Architect.

Not often you see a hip hop Mona Lisa reference.

A Texas / New York Merged State seems like it would have a huge population. Not sure which way it would vote, though.

This is confusing. A mixtape cover that looks like a photo of a CD? What am I listening to, then?

Good. Keeping shoes off of the bed, at least.

No Thanks, Groove Cruise

Spotted on Facebook:  Ad for a cruise that boasts NO VAX REQUIREMENTS!

Number one, ew. Number two, “start spreading” is probably not the phrase to be using here.

The ProofrEADJer: Mid-to-Late January Edition

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

Some Thoughts On Seeing The Ad for 10,000 Maniacs Playing at the SOPAC

• That's not Natalie Merchant

• Yeah,  I'm pretty sure that's not Natalie Merchant

• Not that I care that much, but where is Natalie Merchant?

• Maybe her bandmates found her just as boring and bland as I do?

• Who is this new woman? And why did it have to be a woman?

• Why didn't they just hire a Filipino dude like Journey did?

• That's not Edie Brickell, is it?

• I'm no historian, but I'm pretty sure they didn't create the Alternative Rock format. Pixies did.

• Does this new vocalist sound like Natalie Merchant, pronouncing all her vowels as As?

• If Natalie Merchant put on glasses, would she resemble Janeane Garofalo?

• What's on TV on Sunday, March 26 at 7:30pm?

A Seriously Half-Assed Garage Sale

The lovely neighbors on our street in Jersey are some lazy motherfuckers. They refuse to turn off their car alarm- which goes off at all hours, and they never answer the door when you knock on it to complain about the noise.

So it's only natural that they hold the laziest garage sale known to the Western world– without putting a single piece of furniture or table out to show merchandise, they simple got someone to open the garage door, put up a tiny sign on the stairs (that doesn't even face passing cars) and hope for the best while checking their cell phone messages. Needless to say, people weren't beating the door down to scoop up these outrageous prices.

You'll notice how a week later, they upped their game and got a SECOND sign. Man, they are racking up the receipts now.

Stay tuned next week for the latest developments in whether anyone will notice and buy that heavy bag. My money's on 'no.'

*** Edit: I just compared the two photos again, and I realized that second sign was there the FIRST week. They simply got a TALLER STICK for it! BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH! ADVERTISING!

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

"A lion with dreads holding a gun behind a stack of gold bars is stupid. So let's have two of them."


Hey, since Gucci Mane just lazily slaps dumb rhymes about bitches and cars on beats, let's lazily slap his head, tats, and chains on top of Mark Wahlberg's body in the movie poster for "Contraband" . Who cares if it makes Gucci Mane look like he's got crippling back problems?


"Okay, so your hip-hop name is Smoke, right? Well, Smoke is also the name of a professional-grade online editing and finishing system for broadcast by Autodesk. There's also a motion graphics and compositing software by Adobe called After Effects, and it would be really clever if you named your album 'After Effect.' No, trust me, it's cool."


Wow. Just wow.


If you're going to do a riff on the flag of California, why would you replace the bear with Oscar the Grouch? And why does he have shades on? Has he been smoking up, too? Too many questions, Game.


(I posted a comment here, then erased it, then posted another, then erased that one, realizing there's no comment that could make this album cover any more enjoyable)