Reason #345,198,874,870 Why Social Media Is Dumb

GREEN BOWLS, YOU SAY? HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! CALL 911 AND ALERT THE TOWN CRYER!!!!!

Some More Available (But Terrible) Porn Names

What's up, hot stuff? Welcome to the set! We’re ready to begin shooting your first scene, but first we'll need you to pick a porn name- something we'll use to indicate you in the credits. Here's a trucker hat full of porn names that you can pick from. Help yourself to any of it, but fair warning– a lot of these are pretty stupid: 

Him

Ben Ana Sling

Al O’Pecia

Basick Abel

Black Lives Matt R.

Outstanding Warren

Her

Liv LaughLove

Isabella Stinkhole

Frieda Lay

O’Hare Layover

Barba Sol

Olivia Flutin'-Dong

"We Hang the Petty Thieves and Appoint the Great Ones to Pathmark."

The EADJ Fashion Round-Up: The Summer Airport Collection

It can't be an accident that my girl let her sparkly bra strap screaming "VICTORIA'S SECRET" in full view.

Grandma used up all the dye.

Before traveling as a group, stop by the shoe outlet to get the same pair for everyone.

Spotted at Target. A belt is a wise purchase, sir.

GOOD LORD. I thought she was Brazilian for a second there.

The TSA are just militarized Kinko's workers.

This lady was in Oakland. She blended right in.

When the school told her Monday was Pajama Day, she didn't realize it was just for HER KIDS.

It's Time Once Again To Say Goodbye To All The Shit That Marketers Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! By by! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye!

Alternate Opening Lyrics to Lisa Loeb's 1994 Song "Stay (I Missed You)"

EADJ recently gained access to Lisa Loeb's old notebooks and discovered that her 1994 runaway hit "Stay (I Missed You)" had quite a few alternate opening lines instead of

♪ You say / I only hear what I want to ♪

The song itself is an emotional post-mortem to a break-up and hints at the main character admitting she wasn't a great partner/roommate and perhaps wanting to move back in with them.

Here now are some of those alternates:

♪ You say / I ate all of your Cheetos ♪

♪ You say / I leave pubes in the shower ♪

♪ You say / I pay rent with Chuck E Cheese tokens ♪

♪ You say / I blocked your car in on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I gave you chlamydia ♪

♪ You say / I sold your VCR for some uppers ♪

♪ You say / I fart in your gym bag on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I never flush when we have guests ♪

♪ You say / I erase your answering machine messages on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I stole the batteries from the remote for my shaver ♪

UAG