Alternate Opening Lyrics to Lisa Loeb's 1994 Song "Stay (I Missed You)"

EADJ recently gained access to Lisa Loeb's old notebooks and discovered that her 1994 runaway hit "Stay (I Missed You)" had quite a few alternate opening lines instead of

♪ You say / I only hear what I want to ♪

The song itself is an emotional post-mortem to a break-up and hints at the main character admitting she wasn't a great partner/roommate and perhaps wanting to move back in with them.

Here now are some of those alternates:

♪ You say / I ate all of your Cheetos ♪

♪ You say / I leave pubes in the shower ♪

♪ You say / I pay rent with Chuck E Cheese tokens ♪

♪ You say / I blocked your car in on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I gave you chlamydia ♪

♪ You say / I sold your VCR for some uppers ♪

♪ You say / I fart in your gym bag on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I never flush when we have guests ♪

♪ You say / I erase your answering machine messages on purpose ♪

♪ You say / I stole the batteries from the remote for my shaver ♪

An Open Letter From Seasoned Steel Guitar Player Don Gillespie To Taylor Swift

Hello Darlin',

Just wanted to say hello and "long time no see." Ever since you "crossed over" to popular music and pretty much walked away from your country roots, my workload has been prett-y light, let me tell you.

Yep, your music definitely feels different now. There is no sign of the swooning, romantic sounds of good ol' back country roads from a steel guitar in your 2012 album "Red," which sold 1.2 million copies in its first week of release. And recently in your album "1989," you ditched ol' Don Gillespie's steel guitar again, this time for synth beats and what they call "electronic-a."

Don't get me wrong– I don't begrudge you any of your success. The fact that you've hung out with Victoria's Secret models, wrote an anthem for New York City and even started your own line of clothes are fantastic achievements, not just for a young woman your age, but for anyone.

But darlin, Don Gillespie's got to eat, too. Let me help you do a remix of "Shake It Off," but with some real down home, Nashville flavor! Listen to the steel guitar tracks I sent you for "Blank Space," "Style," and "Bad Blood." I know we could work something out so that "Welcome To New York" becomes a national anthem! Give Don a call!

You have no idea how sick of Ramen noodles old Don has gotten.


– Don G.

Pictured below, the TSA reminds passengers to remove their nasty, scabby frontier bearhide coat before going through security.



I like whoever's holding the coat is doing so like he doesn't want ticks.