Scheduled Appearances For VidCon 2023

VidCon is the latest gathering of content creators, influencers, and. useless dipshits social media stars, all in one place. Here are the latest digital luminaries to catch at this exciting new convention:

• Live daily podcasts from Gaff and the Nook from the second stall in the men's bathroom

• Make up blogger Thomas the Swank Injun will do touch-ups on a dozen faces in only 8 minutes

• Live music from Miranda Sings

• Prank Boyz and the Hidden Camera Gotcha Cru will battle to the death, to everyone's delight

• Jojo Siwa will drive past the building for $50,000

• Mommy blogger Carmen Disaratada will whoop your kid's ass live for likes

• Instagram comedian Disfigurement will take questions

• IG filter expert Shanna V will show everyone her real face for 3 seconds

• Get food poisoning by a variety of TikTok chefs

• Manosphere events will take place in a van in the parking deck

• Controversial puppeteer WHOGIVESASHIT will headline both Friday and Saturday

Reason #345,198,874,870 Why Social Media Is Dumb

GREEN BOWLS, YOU SAY? HOLY FUCKING SHIT!!!! CALL 911 AND ALERT THE TOWN CRYER!!!!!

Only During A Pandemic

 

Pictured above: they've finally designed a giant blender to chop up any students they detect has Covid.

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of May 5

Social media is the perfect way to share shit that nobody asked for. Whether it's Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest, Twitter, LinkedIn, Google Plus (LOL), or Snapchat, you can broadcast the dumbest fucking nonsense to the widest swath of idiots in the time it takes for you to squeeze one off in the john. Here now are the least used hashtags that you can use in your next social media "blast:"

#papalthong

#subwaysoup

#camerareadyart

#ATATtainttattoo

#CSPANorgasms

#treygowdyshirtless

#TEDTalkatWalmart

#spencersgiftsregistry

#anthonykiedisbeautifulvoice

#makingmynipplesshakehands

#jellydonutfilledwithbloodplasma

This Week In Doppelgangers

A goofy, t-shirt stretching John Carstens,


Intense, painted Andrew Gall,


And ITT Tech-educated sound mixer Phil Flicklicker:

EADJ FTW!

Hey, remember that July EADJ entry where we totally ragged on TGI Fridays' chef / "food dude" Guy Fieri?


Well, I guess he couldn't take it, cuz look how sad he is now on a more recent menu cover.


EADJ fucked your mother, Fieri! Cock a doodle ballsack!