UAG

UAG

The EADJ Pun Police: Roman Praetorian Guard Edition

"Fellow Praetorian Guards of glorious Rome. It is our task and vow to protect the Emperor from any and all puns or wordplay. Vigilance shall be our duty to the empire."

"Jesus Shoe Repair is mocking how we crucified that man a few weeks ago. TO THE LIONS WITH THIS STREET COBBLER!"

"Oh, I thought the wordplay was in 'seedy', like somehow it had to do with seeds and water, which confused me. But I see it has to do with the plumbing JOINTS, which isn't an enjoyable pun by any stretch of the imagination! TO THE LIONS WITH THEM!"

"'You may be entitled to condensation.' Never mind the lions- I'll slay this one with a sword myself."

"GREAT CAESAR'S GHOST! PROTECT CAESAR FROM THIS PUN BEFORE HE BECOMES AN ACTUAL GHOST! WHY DID I EVEN USE THAT EXPRESSION? IT'S A TOTAL ANACHRONISM!"

The ProofrEADJer: Mid August Edition

A couple in this grab bag:

25 Days of Hallmark Movies, Day 23: "Northern Lights of Christmas"

"Northern Lights of Christmas" is not a good or groundbreaking movie. It has all the same elements as countless others, but some reason this one managed to get me misty in parts. Maybe it's from having watched Hallmark movies 23 days in a row that my sarcasm has been disabled. Or maybe it's because of Hallmark heavy hitter Ashley Williams' acting chops. Either way, I started ovulating and weeping during this one, spilling Chunky Monkey all over my Pink sweatpants.

Romance Factor: 8 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 9 out of 10

Overall Rating: 8.5 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 01:22:41

Spotted In Newark Airport

Robin Meade continues to hawk her country CD, trying desperately to leave her shitty desk job for a life on tour.

Give it a rest, Robin. You're never going to go platinum, or even gold. Hey, you might go wood.

You can purchase Robin's CD here.

Entropy At Pathmark

The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that in general, the total entropy of any system is always increasing.

EMBRACE THE CHAOS. WHITNEY HOUSTON CD COLLECTION.