Advertising Copywriters Refuse To Say Goodbye To Headlines That Begin With "Say Goodbye To..."

Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye bye! Goodbye! Goodbye! 

Some More Available (But Terrible) Porn Names

What's up, hot stuff? Welcome to the set! We’re ready to begin shooting your first scene, but first we'll need you to pick a porn name- something we'll use to indicate you in the credits. Here's a trucker hat full of porn names that you can pick from. Help yourself to any of it, but fair warning– a lot of these are pretty stupid: 

Him

Ben Ana Sling

Al O’Pecia

Basick Abel

Black Lives Matt R.

Outstanding Warren

Her

Liv LaughLove

Isabella Stinkhole

Frieda Lay

O’Hare Layover

Barba Sol

Olivia Flutin'-Dong

Bruce Willis Still Can't Believe He's In Movies

"What? We're finishing this trilogy now? Okay, I guess."

"If you told me 10 years ago I'd be in a movie with THE Cole Hauser, I wouldn't believe you."

"Okay, I put the hat on. You happy? Where's my paycheck?"

"Mark-Paul Gosselaar? Okay, sharing billing with Zack Morris from 'Saved By The Bell' is all you need to know about my film career now."

"Do you want me to look intense over here, or..."

"... over here? I can do both. Heck, use one each for a different movie– I don't give a shit."

UAG

Some Drawbacks From Headphones That Instantly Turn Into Speakers

Headphones that instantly turn into speakers sounds like a pretty neat idea at first glance. However, here are a few possible drawbacks from using this innovative product:

• Sudden excruciating ear pain

• PERMANENT HEARING LOSS

• Unexpectedly revealing to everyone around you that you listen to Three Doors Down

• I SAID, PERMANENT HEARING LOSS

• Unimpressed friends

The ProofrEADJer: November To Remember Edition