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A Hiccup, Part II

 As surely and stupidly as it began, the clerical error over at Blogger has been corrected somehow and the four EADJ entries flagged for "malware" were reinstated.

Wheee!

Just Confirming...

"Lifestyle" is a dildo, right? It's definitely a dildo.

 

Pathmarky Mark & The Funky Bunch

Every Luxury Car Commercial Voiceover

You know the voice. The smug white guy voice belonging to a well-known actor that reads the voiceover with a smile in his delivery like he just fucked your wife on YOUR BED.

That confident voice can describe abstract concepts like innovation, engineering, or luxury, or more concrete (but boring) features like an aspirated 5.0-Liter V8, adaptive steering, or predictive forward collision warning. And by the way, he just fucked your wife on YOUR BED.

Man, do you want to slap that guy once he steps out of the recording booth. But you can't. Because he's already jetting to Ibiza on a G6 using a flute of champagne to wash YOUR WIFE'S PUBES off his dick.

This entry sponsored by your local Lexus dealer.

Keep On Peddling, George

Mere days after a recent entry about George Lucas' relentless merchandizing of Star Wars, this cub reporter actually got to go to LUCASFILM STUDIOS in San Francisco, courtesy of his good friend Pat.

And along with all the historic awesome props, maquette sculptures and matte paintings from famous movies, OF COURSE there was a gift shop on the premises. With an ATM nearby.


And along with the videogames, t-shirts, hoodies, mugs, cups, action figures, DVDs, books, towels, caps, necklaces, notebooks, pencils, pens, backpacks, sunglasses, posters, wristwatches, bracelets, sweatshirts, baseball caps, stocking caps, coffee cups, water bottles, fleece jackets, and children's books, they also sold wine. Yes, wine.


"Viandante Del Cielo." Get it? Skywalker.


See, it's not crass because it's in Spanish.

Here is a semi-serious review of the actual wine.

Coming Soon to the EADJ Crappinema: Da Station

What I thought was a JJ Sedelmaier cartoon turns out to be a live action movie that couldn't afford photography for the DVD cover. No, wait. They shot the microphone for the "I" in "Station." What the hoo hay?

This has all the signs of a well meaning but poorly executed urban comedy: the grunge font + use of the word "da" instead of "the" + crappy cartoon drawings of the cast + the use of the word "comedy" in the actual tagline. The inclusion of John "Ho Cakes" Witherspoon is extremely encouraging, however.

Larry K Offers An Explanation Of Why The Old Bridge Deli Is Closed

Larry K writes: My sources tell me it's a conspiracy set in motion by the heads of the Five Families of Food in this neighborhood:

Pierre "Le Petite Fromage" Pretamanger, head of the European cartel.


Anthony "Split Pea" Tortolini, who fences counterfeit paninis through Café Metro.


Sophie "The Beef Steak" Empanada, the Brazilian heiress.


Johnny "Stinky Taint" Bistro, known burrito smuggler.


Don Francisco “Week Old Sushi” Delmonico


Apparently, when the owners of Old Bridge refused to cut them in on their incredibly profitable Rolly Wrap business, the families decided they needed to go. Rumor has it they enlisted local muscle from “The Spanish Omelet Gang,” employees of The Café O Brothers.

Of course, this is just what I heard. Could be they’re just deadbeats.

***SFVOSP. The Legend Lives On. But the Soul Still Burns.***

(the following entry was submitted by Christian Golden)

"The psychic distance is shortening. He just left elevator car No.15 in the lobby. He's looking most jaunty, affecting some Petersonian togs (a plaid short-sleeved shirt and some jeans). He was accompanied by a matronly, yet cheerful, looking woman. Perhaps they're off to assignation, perhaps just a coffee."

EDITOR'S NOTE: It does seem that the SFVOSP is always accompanied by a female. Just friends and lunch buddies? Or is he some kind of squat lothario? How does the real Scott Peterson feel about his fatterganger's escapades? This and more on the next Nancy Grace.

(pictured above, a superdeformed manga version of the Shorter Fatter Version of Scott Peterson)

***UPDATE*** Jessica Foster, who spotted him today, and Ryan Boblett, who spotted him 2 days ago, have been added to the definitive list at the bottom of this blog.

***DOUBLE UPDATE*** Emily Kane has also spotted him today. With a woman. Plus she heard his voice.