Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Periodically, Hulu renews or cancels shows or movies based on what's leftover from Netflix. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:

• Star Trek: Ensign Gomez

• Tony Hawk's Radical Real Estate Tips

• Dr. Pimple Popper Wipes Her Ass

• The Big Bong Theory: A Totally Stoked Out PARODY!

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• You Should Probably Not Be Watching This

• Reruns of Old Osama Bin Laden Speeches (with laugh track)

• Bitch Doulas

• America Doesn't Have As Much Talent As We Initially Thought

• Flip That House and Barely Make Your Money Back

The EADJ Pun Police: Hogwarts Disciplinarian Edition

"Welcome class, to Hogwarts. My name is Hazel Showham, and you will call me Ms. Showham. In these halls, you are expected to restrict any magic to the classroom and NOT in the hallways between sessions for the duration of the semester. Also, since you now know the magical properties of words, any type of unauthorized wordplay or 'puns' will be dealt with immediately. Let this be your first and final warning."

"Ugh. WINE-ter? That isn't even close. Punus Eructo!"

"Not impressed. That isn't sophisticated at all. Begon terribulum!"

"Yawn. Awee flotillum!"

"Now this is interesting in how awful it is. It marries Halloween and Star Wars with terrible puns over the lame streetsmart phrase 'Keepin' it real.' Some extra effort was put into this multiple atrocity and will take an extra strong spell to be rid of it. ENTIRUUM GULAG!"

"Song lyrics turned into puns is particularly evil. Very dark evil. Gastrato millipedia!"

"New location? They serve guacamole? I don't love it, but I'll allow it. Stet."

"Oh goody. Food puns galore! With underlines so you GET IT! Punctuatis underlinum! Away!"

"Fie! A multiple pronged, lyrics-based pun! I know no spell powerful enough to suppress or counter it! Evacuate the school, children! Grab your brooms, fly to the nearest exit!"

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract changes, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Jackalope After Dark: The Erotic Adventures

• Throat Stoma

• Outer Mongolia's Got Talent

• Pawn Shop Janitor Wars

• Burning Man: Birthplace of Unique STDs

• Stabby Water Park

• Four Guys Punching Each Others' Dicks

• The Kevin Spacey Vlog

The following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• The Graham Nash Documentary That Graham Nash Doesn't Want You To See

• Tits in a Cup

• Storage Unit Cleaner Wars

• Halloween ??: We've Lost Count

• Fire Extinguisher Pranks With Newborns

• "Sent: The Outbox Chronicles" starring Matthew Modine

• Two Bitches Complaining During Brunch

• Close Calls: Glancing My Nutsack

• Vintage Fire Drill Films Set To Dubstep

Pathmarky Mark & The Funky Bunch

Pathmark! How Low Can You Go / Death Row / What A Brother Know

Six Lies Told By The New Jersey Performing Arts Center Brochure

1) "Stone's throw away," my dick. Clive Barnes of the New York Post is located on 47th Street and Avenue of the Americas- a good 14 miles from the NJPAC. If you can throw a stone 14 miles, Clive, then you're underusing your Kryptonian superpowers and have a lot of unrescued orphan buses to answer for.

2) That photo is not of famed cellist Yo-Yo Ma but of his practical joker brother Bao-Zhi Ma. What a kidder!

3) Diana Krall, Yo-Yo Bao-Zhi Ma, and Cesar Milan did not receive special permission from the NJPAC to appear in photos without their fat face resting on their hand like the other 5 celebs.

4) Alicia Graf Mack was not required in her Alvin Ailey performance to jump from the stage to the fifth level balcony. She just did, and everyone was basically cool with it. Mostly.

5) "Purchase parking in advance and save," my dick. You save like .50 on the pass, but they charge you a $2 "convenience fee" for the online purchase. Do yourself a favor and just ride on the bumper of the city bus. Fuck it.

6) "This is not a 'since we're going to the theater, we may as well eat here' place…" If that were true, why would Nico advertise on a theatre brochure? How disingenuous is that? "Oh, we are totally a destination restaurant, so fuck the theatre, but if you are going to the theatre, you should check us out." Eat my dick, Nico. As soon as Joel is done with it. You'll get your turn.

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EADJ is thrilled to announce a collaboration with Tesla Motors, a project 4 years in the making. Coming November 2016, the Tesla Model 6L a mid-priced premium electric vehicle which will be rolling off the assembly line just in time for Christmas of 2016.

Some features of the 6L:

• A 185 kWh battery that lasts for 6 months without a charge

• Ramp handicapped access to the 3rd row

• 0-60 mph in .35 seconds

• Quadruple motor all-wheel drive

• Unfair comparisons to Joe Isuzu

• Giant, hideous "6" vinyl sticker, totally removable

Very Important Announcements

Can anyone tell me what the fuck the flight attendant's saying here?

Project Fountain Enters Its Third Day

EADJ's Project Fountain has been a rousing success so far. Its majesty and brilliance has even been compared to Darren Aronofsky's 2006 film "The Fountain." Today we decided to up the ante by throwing in more than one new friend into the Old Bridge Deli's upstairs eating area's display.









I'm starting to think I should float a boat in that water now.