We Still Remember.

The last times September 11 fell on a Tuesday were 2012, 2007 and 2001.

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

TV Shows to be added:

Real Unattractive, Obese Housewives

So You Think You Can Conjugate

MasterChef Junior-Junior: Fetus Edition

The Suburban Drug Dealer Who You're Supposed To Like

Caucasian Lyft Drivers: The Documentary

TV Shows to be removed:

Flip a Coin! The Game Show Where You Flip a Coin!

Pawn Shop Janitors

War Wars

The Suburban Mom Who's A Terrorist You're Supposed To Like

Baby Taxidermist

Movies to be added:

The Gerunding

Sharkvocado!

The Unauthorized Biography of Biographer Kitty Kelley, starring Holly Hunter in a convincing wig

Tad and Amanda Meet on Tinder and Fuck But Never Speak To Each Other Again

Movies to be removed:

The Shining III: Maybe Stephen King Will Like This One

Poison Porpoise: Dolphin of Death

Mafia Plumber

Anachronistic Teenage Sex Comedy!

Pathmarky Mark & The Funky Bunch

A NSFW Web Banner

A deleted scene from Disney's "Aladdin."

If you're the type of guy who thinks there is a loophole in female psychology that will allow you to bang big-titted babes, you deserve to have your bank account pillaged.

And no, I didn't click to watch the video, although maybe I should've.

But wait, let's reconsider this ad. Maybe by "fuck her mind," they actually meant "listen to her and understand her hopes, fears and dreams to build a bond of trust." That could work. And by "fuck her pussy," they still meant "fuck her pussy."

Album Cover Quiz

Alanis Morissette is:

a) seated with her own knees tucked above her head
b) sitting on the ground, trying to look up another woman's skirt
c) about to peer into a very skinny man's ass

Let's Tell the EADJ Mail Sack That We're Going Out For Smokes When In Fact We're Leaving Them Forever!

Submitted via text message by Tom W:

A sign on Bowen's door with a lesson– Account executives shouldn't volunteer to model wardrobe.

Joel Thomas: Dick Gourmet

We at EADJ realize that Joel is an aspiring screenwriter. To help him in his quest for reaching his achievement of his goal, we wish to guide him to be the best screenwriter he can aspire to hope to be. The EADJ staff are big movie buffs, and we wanted to point out the biggest script clichés to avoid in case Joel desired to be a groundbreaking writer. Conversely, if Joel wanted to get hired by any crap studio so he could eat dick and write lame scripts, here is a handy laundry list.

Least-Surprising Plot Devices:

• Climactic scene where the villain and the good guy wrestle with one gun– BANG! Who got shot? Who? Surprise, it's the bad guy! Yay!

• Climactic scene where villain is about to shoot the good guy– BANG! And someone else shoots the bad guy just in time! Yay!

• Stupid scene where two crazy dudes are jumping their car over something, turn to each other and say "SHIIIIIIIIIT!"

• Scene where the bad guy turns out to be– the good guy's boss! Surprise! (Bonus: The bad guy is identified via a computer image that is slowly getting sharper and sharper)

• Some valuable cargo is supposed to be delivered or found, and the cargo turns out to be– surprise! A chick! (or a child)

• Stupid scene where the good guy kicks the bad guy against a wall, and– surprise! There was something sharp on the wall, thus killing the bad guy without technically making the good guy a killer! Yay!

• Scene where the good guy's kids have always hated him until he reveals that he does something awesome for a living. It impresses the hell out of the kids, and they instantly respect him from then on. Yay!

• Any car chase scene that involves two workmen walking with a large pane of glass, whether breaking the glass or not breaking the glass or just missing the glass and having one of the workmen drop the glass, whatever. ENOUGH!!!!!

• Same goes for a workman laying fresh concrete on the sidewalk.

• Same goes for a workman on a ladder hanging a banner above a street.

• You know what? Any car chase scene, period.

• Any scene involving Joel onscreen where a cock is being eaten. Expected!

(pictured above, a raging alcoholic celebrates 430 days without a drink)