Spotted Online

You know video game consoles are getting expensive when they offer low APR financing. Sheesh.

Let's Say Goodbye To All The Stuff Marketers Are Telling Us To Say Goodbye To

Goodbye! Goodbye! Bye! *kiss*

Some Possible Complications from Casting a Black Man As Frosty The Snowman

I got this flyer in the mail from the Paper Mill Playhouse advertising children's shows in December (not sure why C.S. News' "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is considered a Christmas play, but whatever). What struck me was the bold casting of an African American actor as Frosty the Snowman.

An unorthodox and progressive move, to be sure. You would think a snowman would be white, right? And I do applaud casting a minority actor beyond the typical roles that they get. But this clear demonstration of inclusiveness and seeing beyond color – especially in this political environment – somehow doesn't sit well with me in this case. Maybe considering the Paper Mill is located in the fairly wealthy, white township of Millburn, NJ? Who knows.

Here now are some red flags that the producers of the show might have seen but plowed past anyway:

• Racists in the audience might cheer when Frosty melts

• The whole "magical negro" thing

• Frosty is in possession of a stolen hat

• Helping a black man travel north on a railroad

• The possible message that a black man needs the help of white children to survive

• Creating the fiction that a black man can roam around New York City without being hassled

• Snow purists might be offended he's performing in "white face"

• Mike Pence might show up

• Children might make their own snowman afterward and be disappointed theirs doesn't resemble Kevin Hart

• It might inspire African American boys to stop applying to colleges to become snowmen instead

• The bumpity-bump-bump remix featuring Rihanna was unnecessary

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Last Week Of 2013

Feel free to use any of these unloved hashtags in your own unloved Twitter feed.

#myspace

#aynrandawesomeness

#icanbenchpressoneblackcock

#fingeringsototmayor

#gonnamissjayleno

#semenonmysombrero

#worthviolatingmyprobation

#areasonedwellwrittenandgrammaticallycorrecttweet

#venerealticks

#joycedewitt

#smurfgenitals

#whyistheironingboardmadatme

#2brokegirlsmarathon

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#iaminsidejonahhill

#ballinatthecoinstar

Spotted At Target

Pictured above, cruelty to children.

EADJ ALTERNATE UNIVERSE: What If Andrew Gall Had Never Met Megan?

The following is an entry by the Andrew Gall from parallel universe #68456E, wherein he never meets his fiancée Megan M in Chicago:

Hi guys! It's me, Andrew. I guess a lot of you have been wondering what I've been up to lately since we all worked together at CK. Well, since getting laid off that place after we lost the Kia account, I had been keeping myself busy by working at That's Our Bag, working the register, restocking the window, stuff like that.

On weeknights, I've been pretty social– a group of cool guys I know from the gym have formed a World of Warcraft guild, and we call ourselves "OMG Crew," you know, like "Oh My God" crew? LOL! (that means "Laugh Out Loud")



Work-wise, I've been doing pretty well. The Manager Monica lets me sell on the floor now instead of merely answering the phone or restocking the back. But that also means I have to dress in khakis instead of shorts. A worthy tradeoff for a .10 per hour raise!


Speaking of money, I've been saving up for a Playstation 3 for some time now. I've already bought a controller and some game called "DragonForce," which I hear is pretty great in battle mode. My neighbor Keith has promised to let me borrow his blue ray Jenna Jameson porn so I can watch some on the DVD player. Maybe in a few months!

Meanwhile, At the RNC...

Minutes after McCain spoke about literacy:


And during a portion about more oil drilling NOW:


I blame the liberal media for pointing the camera in their direction. But what disturbs me is that for all the talk about keeping America safe, a deposed dictator has found gainful employment at a Washington DC buffet: