"Pathmark Will Set You Free, But First It Will Make You Miserable."

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Add A New Remote To The Nintendo Wii

1) Press and release the SYNC button just below the batteries on the Wii Remote; the Player LED on the front of the Wii Remote will blink.

2) While the lights are still blinking, quickly press and release the red SYNC button on the Wii console.

3) When the Player LED blinking stops and stays lit, the syncing is complete.

And speaking of staying lit, don't get drunk if you want me to take you to the airport. Security won't let you get through, and I'll be wasting my gas driving you back to the casino. Stay safe, kids.

The EADJ Fashion Roundup: The Spring '17 Collection

What kind of activity would cause a wear mark like that in the middle of a denim jacket?! Don't answer that.

This gal is about to order a burger, but it looks like she already found some nuggets.

Stretching for the subway in your Carmen Sandiego black hat, gloves and scarf tells everybody you are agile, quick, and about to grab that seniors seat first.

Accessorizing your coffee cup with your infant nephew's face seems like a good idea, Woman Bun, but it actually looks like you're keeping him IN that thermos.

Today's casual Nazi foregoes jackboots and crisp grey uniforms for the untucked Oxford and Walmart cargo pants. Looking sharp, Stephen!

Some Possible Complications from Casting a Black Man As Frosty The Snowman

I got this flyer in the mail from the Paper Mill Playhouse advertising children's shows in December (not sure why C.S. News' "The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe" is considered a Christmas play, but whatever). What struck me was the bold casting of an African American actor as Frosty the Snowman.

An unorthodox and progressive move, to be sure. You would think a snowman would be white, right? And I do applaud casting a minority actor beyond the typical roles that they get. But this clear demonstration of inclusiveness and seeing beyond color – especially in this political environment – somehow doesn't sit well with me in this case. Maybe considering the Paper Mill is located in the fairly wealthy, white township of Millburn, NJ? Who knows.

Here now are some red flags that the producers of the show might have seen but plowed past anyway:

• Racists in the audience might cheer when Frosty melts

• The whole "magical negro" thing

• Frosty is in possession of a stolen hat

• Helping a black man travel north on a railroad

• The possible message that a black man needs the help of white children to survive

• Creating the fiction that a black man can roam around New York City without being hassled

• Snow purists might be offended he's performing in "white face"

• Mike Pence might show up

• Children might make their own snowman afterward and be disappointed theirs doesn't resemble Kevin Hart

• It might inspire African American boys to stop applying to colleges to become snowmen instead

• The bumpity-bump-bump remix featuring Rihanna was unnecessary

UAG

Graffiti Cent

(pictured above, a self-styled treasurer for the MTA demands some answers to an advertising budget discrepancy– click to enlarge)