An Imagined Conversation

"Jiehong, we need a name for our restaurant."

"Okay, Chun. Something Chinese."

"How about something with dragons or pandas? Like Panda Hut?"

"Hmmm. I like it, but can it be more natural? Like outdoorsy?"

"Oh! How about a garden?"

"Yes! I like gardens! So, maybe Jade Garden? Or Dragon Garden?"

"Mmmm. Dragon Garden is a mouthful."

"Panda Garden?"

"That's weird. What's a panda doing in a garden?"

"What's a dragon doing in a garden?"

"Okay, fair... How about, Emerald Garden!"

"I like it! But it doesn't really speak to food."

"I think you're being too literal about this. It can be Jade or Emerald or Dynasty Garden or Ming Garden..."

"No, I got it! TOMATOES!"

Let's Seriously Redact The Shit Out Of The EADJ Mail Sack!

Submitted by Tom W via text:

"This picture was on the wall of labor and delivery at Roosevelt hospital. I have no idea what artistic value it possesses."

Yes, that's his shit in the gutter.

[Editor's note: The identity of the mother and son have been obscured for their privacy, and the boy's dangling genitals have been covered by a photo of Chinese potatoes.]

***UPDATE: ****

"And two pics down from that? Howdy Doody molesting Raggedy Ann."

The Joel Angel Project: Magic Trick #2

Yes, it took only 559 days, but Joel finally has a second magic trick video to offer for the Joel Angel Project. This being a stopgap, apparently:

"Okay, I'm doing two more videos, first of all. They take forever because I'm busy, and new iMovie frustrates me to no end, THIS video took a week of my just trying to figure out how to edit right. I miss old iMovie. I understood old iMovie.  Second, yes, that's a handlebar mustache--my poker pro mustache. I've since shaved it."

Execution: 6

Presentation: 3

Criss Angel Factor: 0. This is actually not a Criss Angel trick but a David Blaine Street Magic trick:



***Edit:***

Okay, Criss Angel actually HAS done this particular trick, too:



Secret Behind The Trick: A complex series of cables, pulleys and counterweights.

And by the way, Joel is right. The new version of iMovie does suck royally.

At this rate, we look forward to Joel's next videos on February 15, 2015 and August 27, 2016.