An Important Message From Delight

Hi boys.

Now, because of the recent crisis in Haiti, there are a lot of B- and C-list celebrities like Heidi Montag and that Tila Tequila chick who are jumping on the bandwagon and urging people to give generously to the Red Cross or whatever. I'm here to tell you that although, yes, these are useless, parasitic famewhores using this terrible tragedy to call even more undeserved attention to themselves, at least they are pointing some people in the right direction.

You can donate to Haiti relief to:
• The Red Cross
• Doctors Without Borders
• Hope For Haiti

Thank you all for your time. Now, has anyone seen my spangled thong? It was pink and it smelled like Lysol.

Let's Smoke the EADJ Mail Sack!

(submitted by Tom Weingard, via email)
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"I met a dude on the chairlift in aspen who’s from around where I’m from in philly and I gave him my email because he said his nephew was looking for ad agencies in nyc, who I have since helped. The dude went out there on a trip by himself which I thought was ballsy and I immediately thought ’gay’, but of course I don’t know. Then he sent me this recently after having a couple email passes...

Where do you work anyway. What do you do again?
Something in advertising right.

I am a Banker. I have a pretty good job. I cannot complain about money. I am overpaid really.

I travel an hour each day so that part is expensive with the gas.
I'm 42. I have a house. I bet you are under 30. Do you rent an apartment in NY? The funny thing is we had our ski stuff on the time I met you and all I remember is you were taller than me I think with dark hair. Not sure really.

I don't have lots of money or anything but I have the use of credit cards. I figure what am I saving my money for anyway.
Get out to Aspen again. What is it a money issue???

Well I will talk to you later.

*name*

Is this dude trying to hit on me?"

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What do YOU think, dear reader? Frankly, I can't think of anything straight that can come after "I met a dude on a chairlift."

Also, who the fuck writes down someone's email on a chairlift?

Strike Out, Joel.

Things that Joel has learned over the course of the Writer's Strike:

Day one: Not working is kind of fun!

Day two: My toes are kind of webbed if you look at them in the right light.

Day three: Nikki and Victor are an eternally doomed couple on The Young and the Restless

Day four: Unrefrigerated Vong's Thai Kitchen leftovers don't keep or taste too good.

Day five: Writer's agents don't call as often when writers are striking.

Day six: Loneliness is disorienting and Silvia Plath poems make more sense.

Day seven: My testicles smell worse when you use Pine Sol.

Day eight: Wow. Silvia Plath totally gets it all.

Day nine: Being broke isn't as heroic and honorable as those Okie Dust Bowl people say.

Day ten: Dick still tastes awesome. A comfort in these times.

(pictured above, the new trend in album cover art– just putting someone's big fat face on the cover)

Curlz Close Call.

(pictured above, a font that looks like Curlz at first glance, but ain't.

5 bonus points for being in a shitty Popeyes.

10 bonus points for having shrimp that look like dicks.

15 bonus points for inadvertantly reading "This jambalaya is dumpin'."