Upcoming Movies Based on the Denim Styles Poster at Old Navy

Hollywood's biggest studios have an IP problem. Every character, franchise and script has been scooped up and turned into either a blockbuster or a moderately popular Netflix show. So all original content is now desperately sought after by Sony, Paramount, Disney, and Universal. As a result, a bidding war has broken out over the latest hot property: the Denim poster at Old Navy.

Here now are the latest greenlit projects based on parts of this poster:

"OG Loose" is the story of two unemployed female rodeo workers in rural Iowa (Melissa Benoist and ZaweAshton) who discover an underground bunker full of fentanyl and decide to ride the cyclone to RICHES. Directed by Jon M. Chu. Also starring Haley Joel Osment as the crooked DEA agent pursuing them.

"Slouchy Straight" starring Dev Patel and Ryan Gosling

Two dumb slackers who just got out of prison meet a mysterious tech genius (David Hyde Pierce) who implants a "genius" microchip in their brains to help them become successful entrepreneurs. When they get too successful, their benefactor hits the "kill switch" and hilarity ensues.

"Barrel" directed by James Gunn

Pop singer Crate (Adria Arjona) cheats on her partner Barrel (Timothée Chalamet), and he decides to go solo in a different musical direction. Mixing dubstep with hip hop and traditional folk music, Barrel becomes the biggest star on NPR. He hits 16 trillion Spotify streams and earns a cool $400 from it!

4 Upcoming Actresses With Their Breakout Roles

Actress: Emma Mackey, former CVS dental appliance model

Breakout role: Maeve Wiley, a sardonic teenager, in the Netflix comedy-drama series "Sex Education". Strangely, NO HOBBITS are in this show.

Actress: Phoebe Dynevor, daughter of clay tycoon Roy Dynevor

Breakout role: The rollerskating Natasha in "Bridgerton"

Actress: Rachel Brosnahan 

Breakout role: aspiring stand-up comedian (and eventual assassin to Buddy Holly, whoops spoiler alert) Miriam "Midge" Maisel

Actress: Australian actress Samara Weaving

Breakout role: Kirsten Mulroney on the drama series "Out of the Blue" and also, believe it or not, Kool-Aid Man from every Kool-Aid commercial since 1972

An Open Discussion

I opened a "Signals" catalog the other day, and I'm pretty sure I spotted former "Flip or Flop" host Christina El Moussa modeling a floral top.

I mean, that is her, isn't it? It sure looks like her.

But let's back up for a minute. Does it make any sense for an HGTV star like that to slum with a mail order catalog? Is she so in need of cash that she has to model some cheapo blouse for junk mail?

Maybe.

Maybe that divorce with Tarek was so ugly, she was left with little more than monthly rent. Add the expenses of caring for their children and yeah, she might have some expenses to take care of there.

But then again, she's a friggin' TV star. And she didn't leave HGTV with any bad blood, from what I understand. Plus she's incredibly attractive, so of course the channel would hook her up with a new gig and she wouldn't need to model some dollar store rags.

But on the other hand, that sure as shit looks like her. And she didn't really seem to roll up her sleeves in those "Flip or Flop" construction jobs; I often saw her walking into a work zone in friggin platform heels and light colored slacks. So maybe modeling was her calling all along.

What do YOU think, friends?

This Week in Hip Hop Awfulness

BEWARE! A TRUE BEAST ISN'T AFRAID TO WEAR A PHILLY FLYERS HAT IN NYC

If it burns when you pee, visit your local clinic.

Toby hated it when his older brother Randall babysat.

No idea. Leave it as is. It's perfect.

Chief Keef and Gucci Mane continue to slay standards of what good hip hop is.

"Shit, I thought my keys were in my jeans, but maybe they're in the ashtray at home? In my desk drawer at work? Shit!"

Some people are too busy with their fabulous playa lives to put their phone down for a quick photo shoot. Jeez, even Oprah takes a break for a few snapshots, Le$.

UAG

Curlz Close Call.

(pictured above, a font that looks like Curlz at first glance, but ain't.

5 bonus points for being in a shitty Popeyes.

10 bonus points for having shrimp that look like dicks.

15 bonus points for inadvertantly reading "This jambalaya is dumpin'."