Good Financial Call.

You know, after careful consideration, I think my personal library could stand to break out of its rigid 'hardcover only' policy and accept the occasional paperback onto its shelves.

In this one case, at the very least.

EADJ Fashion Round Up: The Spring Collection

Waiting in line at Walgreens just got more stylish with a multi stripe golf shirt and a snug pair of flowery linen shorts. Finish off the impatient look with ankle socks and a pair of New Balance sneaks!

Doing strenuous yard work with an analog push mower? A floral jumper will speak to the nature part, while the Adidas tracket keeps you spry and sporty!

Inspiration can come from anywhere, and that includes a 3 year old middling Disney animated movie. Witness Tiffany taking a neighborhood stroll as she channels Raya and the Last Dragon.

"Look for me in church service. I'll be the one sporting the startled owl look."

The Victorian governess look is made more convincing with a Spanish flu facemask and a black lace kerchief that screams, "I'm in mourning!"*

*Yes, I realize the Spanish flu was in 1918 and technically the Victorian era ended with her death in 1901. Don't @ me.

Dog Park Missed Connections

The following Missed Connections were posted by dogs that visited the Bucks County Core Creek Dog Park in Langhorne, PA:

You: the dashing Dobermann with the curvy tail

Me: the Shiba Inn sniffing all the owners

Hey, handsome! Not much to say except NICE BALLS! I bet they smell great. Call me!

You: the Cane Corso, whatever that is

Me: the energetic Border Collie with the sparkly collar that says PIZAZZ

Yoooooooooo. Let's hang out. I need friends! Hey, where you going?

You: the Cocker Spaniel mix

Me: the German Shepherdish mix

Nice to meet you, cocker! I didn't catch your name because there was so much noise. I live in the neighborhood that smells like dead fish. Drop by sometime! 

💖💖💖💖

The Wise Man Knows That It Is Better To Sit On the Banks of a Remote Mountain Stream Than To Be Emperor of the Whole Pathmark.

The ProofrEADJer: Typo Surplus Edition

The EADJ Fashion Round Up: August Edition

(Submitted by Tom Weingard) Sometimes we envy the colorblind.

Yes, there is a such thing as too much accessorizing. And I'm not just talking about the purple iPhone case.

Neutral colors like black and white always complement one's Xena Warrior Princess boots.

Gauchos in Soho? Sure, why not.

I didn't have the heart to tell this woman a GUM WRAPPER was balanced on her lap. YOU tell her.

Remember those "Magic Eye" posters from the 90s that gave you headaches? This woman does.

I know this is racist, but I swear I've never seen a black guy wear this shirt before. With CARGO SHORTS to boot!

This guy flicks his ashes at the conventional way to wear a baseball hat/use a shopping cart.

Fashion Is Never Out Of Style. Whatever The Fuck That Means.

 

The wandering nomad is prepared for the desert, even when just popping over to Jamba Juice for an Apple 'N Greens smoothie.

 

iPhone + caramel latte = pussy

 but

Russian hat + tattoo = Russian mafia

I still need more info to make a judgment here.

 

"Can I borrow your grease pencil? I need to express surprise."

 

Although Derek's garage band made it on SPIN Magazine's "50 Must Hear Bands at SXSW" and even had a song featured on "Grey's Anatomy," his father still wanted him to get a "real" job. 

 

Here's a tip. If you're a young single girl trying to make it in the big city with nothing but a little bit of pluck and a stride in your step, get the fuck away from me because that shit is fucking tiresome.

 

We get it. You treasure the infrequent times you get to escape your boring job at the American Academy of Pediatrics to go on the black diamonds at ski resorts in the Poconos. But take some of those lift passes off before you blind a dwarf.

 

Even white boys gotta shout.

 

"Green hoodie, check. Green sunglasses, check. Wait, WHITE iPhone earbuds? No, that just ruins the whole outfit. Why would I even get dressed in the morning if the balance was all thrown off?! Okay, there. GREEN iPhone earbuds. Time to step out."

 

Stet. No change needed.  If you're confident enough to walk Park Avenue like it's a runway with TWO bags off the same shoulder, far be it from me to harsh your fabulous.

Barbara Walters Interviews Broccoli Farts

The following is a transcript of an interview Barbara Walters had earlier this year with Broccoli Farts, courtesy of "20/20:"

Barbara Walters: Thank you for taking the time to sit down with me. I know you're busy.

Broccoli Farts: My pleasure.


Barbara Walters: I understand that you are the gastrointestinal result of eating either raw or cooked broccoli– is that correct?

Broccoli Farts: Yes. It doesn't really matter what state the broccoli is in when you eat it. I'm there either way, although some will still tell you that I am more intense after a meal of raw broccoli, like in a salad. And even though I've gotten a lot of media coverage lately, I just wanted to say that I've been around for a long time before all this hype.

Barbara Walters: Hm.

Broccoli Farts: BRAAAAAAAPPPP!

Barbara Walters: So was that cooked?

Broccoli Farts: I forget. I think so.



Barbara Walters: Tell me about your home life. Is there a Mrs. Broccoli Farts?

Broccoli Farts: No, not yet. (laughs) I'm still trying to find the right girl. I mean, obviously in my line of work, it's pretty hard to meet someone. No, I have two male roommates in a 2-bedroom apartment. Josh and I each have a bedroom, and Yamir sleeps on a futon over by the television in the main room.

Barbara Walters: Yamir?

Broccoli Farts: BBBBRRAAAHHHHHRRRFFFF! I'm sorry, excuse me?

Barbara Walters: Your roommate Yamir?

Broccoli Farts: Yes, he's from India. He's an exchange student, going to the School of Visual Arts for graphic design, I believe.

Barbara Walters: You have been called a "rebel," a "rapscallion," and "someone I don't want around my dinner table." How do you respond to those charges?

Broccoli Farts: Everyone's entitled to their opinion of me. The fact is, I'm there whether you want me there or not. I'll loudly enter a room mid-story, or I can quietly sneak in if someone leans to the side in their chair. I have my ways of showing up, regardless how high-falutin the occasion is. (smiles)

Barbara Walters: It strikes me that you're so much more pleasant than people make you out to be.

Broccoli Farts: I don't know about that, Barbara. Maybe you're just catching me on a good day! There have been times that I've caused headaches, nausea and even the occasional botched bris.

Barbara Walters: Bris? As in the circumcision ceremony?



Broccoli Farts: FRRRRAHHHHRRRRAHHHHBBAAARRAAAAAHHHH! See? That was a bad one.


Barbara Walters: Thank you for talking to us, Broccoli Farts.