A Deli's Infuriating Lack Of A Line

You walk into a South Orange deli and you see this scattershot bullshit of people kind of in line and others standing near where the line is, but you have no idea who has ordered already. How can you tell? 

Today we break down what everyone in this deli was up to:

1) Couple was CLEARLY ORDERING. We know that. Good.

2) Guy was standing off to the side, NOT behind the couple, so he's probably ordered already or is a DoorDasher waiting for a takeout order.

3) Top knot lady is sort of in line but not directly behind the others. So of all these people, she's the one that you really can't tell whether she's ordered or knot.

4) Guy just facing the area from afar has probably NOT ordered yet but hasn't taken the initiative to get in a REAL FUCKING LINE.

So frustrating trying to read this amorphous crowd. How do you New Yorkers in bodegas do it?

The ProofrEADJer: Soho Deli Edition

An Important Message From Delight

Hi boys.

Now, because of the recent crisis in Haiti, there are a lot of B- and C-list celebrities like Heidi Montag and that Tila Tequila chick who are jumping on the bandwagon and urging people to give generously to the Red Cross or whatever. I'm here to tell you that although, yes, these are useless, parasitic famewhores using this terrible tragedy to call even more undeserved attention to themselves, at least they are pointing some people in the right direction.

You can donate to Haiti relief to:
• The Red Cross
• Doctors Without Borders
• Hope For Haiti

Thank you all for your time. Now, has anyone seen my spangled thong? It was pink and it smelled like Lysol.

Coming Soon: The Rolly Wrap Competition

There's this deli on Lexington & 41st Street that sells something called Rolly Wraps. Now, I've never personally seen one, but it sounds candy-like and a little unsanitary. What we're doing here at EADJ is collecting people's artistic renderings of what they think a rolly wrap looks like, to be judged by Toucan Cleric's Fun's own Larry K, who has seen one in person. He will judge the most accurate and/or most interesting drawings and EADJ will reward that person with something of value. Maybe even an all-expenses trip to the Rolly Wrap deli.

Please send all Rolly Wrap drawing or Photoshop submissions to destoye@mac.com under the subject line "Rolly Wrap." Judging will be on Wednesday, August 27 at 3pm. There is no other significance to that date.

Official Rules:
•Drawing must be smaller than 8.5 x 11" using any materials
•No cheating. You cannot trace an actual Rolly Wrap
•Video or audio submissions will not be returned
•Drawings of penises will not count, Joel

Good luck to everyone who submits!

A Catchy Tagline.

Monique apparently likes getting it done in teacher's breakrooms.

Tom Investigates.

Give that man a Jade Mollusk Award!

Punny Delight

Delight admitted that "Cock-tail UP, Boys!" is a terrible, nonsensical pun playing off the cocktail bar setting of her photograph. And she was gracious enough to share all her rejected flyer taglines (click to enlarge):

A Favor, Por Favor

What bugged J'Net is starting to bug me now.

Can someone call the phone number here and ask Delight what the fuck that tagline of hers means? A Jade Mollusk Award awaits whoever gets an answer without a charge on your credit card.