Some More Available Terrible Porn Names

Congrats on joining the porn industry. We can tell you are a real go-getter and are ready to jump in with gusto (and cum). But first, you'll need a porn name for us to refer to you by. Here's a handy list of available porn names that were never claimed because they're so stupid. Have at it, sport. Pick one:

Him

Obama Kerr

Teddy Fuxpin

Hu Justjoined

Tom Agotchi

Yuri N. Alasys

Higgs Boson

Her

Summa Enchanted-Evening

Roe V. Wade

Priscillascope

Sissy Fuss

Olivia Garden Bottomless Salad

The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index, Revisited

During Hurricane Superstorm Sandy, we introduced you to the phenomenon of "The Lonnie Quinn Shirt Sleeve Index," an unorthodox but reliable measure of the seriousness of a weather forecast based on the condition of CBS New York Channel 2's meterologist Lonnie Quinn's shirt sleeves.

Since that November storm, there have been the occasional thunderstorm and bouts of heavy precipitation. But Lonnie had not adjusted his sleeves until February 8, when several feet of snow were predicted to fall. Here now is a breakdown of that night's coverage:

Uh, No Thanks

Pictured below, I change my mind about buying some breakfast yogurt for my son after noticing the batch lot number.