Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

The Answers To Yesterday's "Which Can, Erickson?"

Did you get them all right? Who cares?

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Contract negotiations with various studios are over, and here are the latest shows and movies that will be added to Hulu:

• How To Cook Crepes Like a Fucking Champion

• What's On Netflix

• Ugh, You're Wearing *That?*: The Fashion Makeover Show

• Ping Me That You Love Me

• Drop It Like It Will Indict You

• Talking Talking Dead: The Show Where We Recap The Last "Talking Dead" Recap Show

And here are the latest shows and movies that will be removed from Hulu:

• SONOFABITCH!: The Amateur DIY Fix-it Show

• Model UN Paintball

• Pranking Fire Departments

• Scrolling list of everyone's Social Security Numbers

• Virtual Speed Date Rejections

• That's My Dick, Actually

• Gone Are Rhea

Turn Around / Every Now And Then I Get A Little Bit Pathmark That You're Never Coming 'Round

Sci-Fi I Haven't Watched

Based purely on the screenshots, Gene Roddenberry's Andromeda is about a group of physically fit space travelers who do nothing but give each other the silent treatment.

Your Timesheets For This Week

TO: ALL RECIPIENTS, BOSTON OFFICE

FROM: AUTOMATIC TIMESHEET MAILBOT

BEGINNING AUTOMATED MESSAGE:::

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

WASSUP BITCHES

TIME TO FILL OUT YOUR TIMESHEETS BEFORE THE WEEK IS OVER. PLEASE REFER TO THE ENCLOSED .XLT FILE FOR THE RELEVANT JOB NUMBERS FOR WHATEVER ASSIGNMENT YOU'RE WORKING ON

FAILURE TO COMPLY WILL RESULT IN AUTOMATIC TERMINATION. J/K I GOT YOU FOR A SECOND THERE LOL. I BET I HAD YOU GOING, JAMIEL.

ANYWHO, HERE ARE YOUR JOB NUMBERS:

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

53964: Making love out of nothing at all

93550: Stopping short of a full Presidential endorsement

61632: Reporting to the Better Business Bureau that the massage parlor didn't give you "full release"

39399: Tweeting your fucking lunch

09009: Instagramming your fucking lunch

29282: Facebooking your fucking lunch

22194: Finally eating your fucking lunch

07353: Tripping a little and walking it off like you were picking up the pace

22186: Creating an infographic of Kevin James' entire filmography

20459: Challenging Joyce to a M*A*S*H trivia contest

56100: Jerking off to that hot older woman on "Shark Tank"

86651: Really regretting making that taco joke to that Mexican guy in accounting

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of March 16

The following nontrending hashtags have NOT gone viral, have NOT been flooding Twitter's servers and have NOT been "a part of the conversation." So do with them what you will:

#pubestyling

#theevergladesareracist

#myidioticopinion

#decepticonbirthcontrol

#greenturdcenterpiece

#ruthbaderginsbergturnt

#‡‡°fifl›fi‹ŒÍ◊ı˜˜.¯¨˙∂°·‚‚‚ÒÔ˝

#tacobellweddingreception

#bieberforgiven

#EADJpulitzer

#jobinterviewpeedot

The ProofrEADJer, March (of the Penguins) Edition

The ProofrEADJer, End of February Edition

From "American Psycho:"

Okay, the one below confuses me:

Is the garlic bread free? Then it's a typo. But does the garlic bread complement the pasta and wine nicely? Then, no typo. Which is it? Maybe a place with a 8.5x11 table tent doesn't serve wine and food pairings.

CSI EADJ: Pleading the Fifth

The forensic team at EADJ have once again collected a full dossier of solved cases, after having closely examined some of the detritus of New York and New Jersey. Here now are their latest findings:

CASE 489579

Location: Midtown NYC

CASE 489580

Location: Midtown NYC

CASE 489581

Location: Midtown NYC

CASE 489582

Location: Entrance to Grand Central Terminal, Midtown NYC

CASE 489583

Location: Citibike Rack, Near the United Nations Building, NYC

CASE 489584

Location: Outside a Target, Union NJ

NIKEOTB

Spotted on 34th Street, a digital billboard for Nike supposedly uses "cool" typography but ends up reminding us of 1988:

Ticketmaster thinks I am a Red Hat Society member.

Ticketmaster sent me this email today:

Like, what the fuck? I haven't listened to Debbie Reynolds in like, I dunno, like 2 weeks or something. And that CATS original cast soundtrack may be in the CD changer, but it's not like I've cranked it lately. Not really. Not loud.

Memories...