Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts
Showing posts with label murder. Show all posts

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

CSI EADJ: Pleading the Fifth


The forensic team at EADJ have once again collected a full dossier of solved cases, after having closely examined some of the detritus of New York and New Jersey. Here now are their latest findings:

CASE 489579
Location: Midtown NYC


CASE 489580
Location: Midtown NYC




CASE 489581
Location: Midtown NYC




CASE 489582
Location: Entrance to Grand Central Terminal, Midtown NYC




CASE 489583
Location: Citibike Rack, Near the United Nations Building, NYC



CASE 489584
Location: Outside a Target, Union NJ



Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Literate Book Corner: The New Saint Joseph Baltimore Catechism, Published 1964



Like I mentioned before, there's a free used book rack at my New Jersey train station, and while I mainly dump off books I've read there, sometimes there are titles that catch my attention that I'm compelled to share.

This one is terrific. It's a New Saint Joseph Baltimore Catechism handbook from 1965. And while it's filled with the requisite Bible readings, "study helps" (??????), and Mass prayers, they've gone the extra mile to include illustrations of children saying things that children WOULD NEVER SAY:






I showed it to my wife and she said, "That's propaganda." If I were a kid and heard another kid say anything like that, I would think, This guy is either an adult pretending to be a kid or a fucking narc.





This book frames the lessons of the Bible in terms that children can understand- like honoring your father and mother by obeying their request to do chores- but a lot of these other scenarios are examples of being nice rather avoiding sin. 



Sure, it can be all interpretation of Scripture that being nice is being holy (pretty loosey-goosey, if you ask me), but why try so hard to make children feel guilty about being children? Why instill children with such a deep sense of guilt so early in their lives... oh, yeah. Catholicism.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Clarification Corner 2


Get it right!

Michelle Kwan is an Olympic medal-winning figure skater from Torrance, California.
Michelle Quan is a cosmetician as well as a superior teacher from Bay Ridge, New York who advertises in the "Brooklyn's Finest Shopping Guide" circular.


Michelle Kwan is the third child of Danny and Estella Kwan, Chinese immigrants from Hong Kong.
Michelle Quan was birthed from an Indian chief and a grizzly bear.


Michelle Kwan always wears a good luck necklace that her grandmother gave her.
Michelle Quan once stole some platinum rims off her boyfriend's Escalade to pay for insulin.


Michelle Kwan had a pet squirrel when she was younger.
Michelle Quan specializes in Brazilian waxing.


A fan of Michelle Kwan would respond to this Clarification Corner post with an irate letter, saying how dare I sully the good name of a true role model and Olympic champion, and that I'm just jealous and why don't I get a life.
A fan of Michelle Quan would throw a rock in my window and murder me.