EADJ Program Note

Thanks to Fiverr's yanitsa for this video!

The EADJ Fiverr Experiment: A Major Setback

Hey, remember yesterday when we were so excited for someone to guest write a blog entry for us? Well, it's already a bust.

"Report me"?! For what? So not only does this person back out of the deal, she feels like she needs to report me for some reason. Mind you, there was nothing about my original communication that warranted any reporting. My only guess is that she was somehow offended by the name of the blog. Maybe she has a boyfriend or husband named Joel. Maybe she can't handle the challenge of writing an Ugly Andrew Gall from scratch. 

Shoot. Thanks for nothing.

Turn Around / Every Now And Then I Get A Little Bit Pathmark That You're Never Coming 'Round

If You're Happy and You're Joel, Eat a Dick

Joel wrote an angry letter to the Brother Corporation this morning to protest the release of one of their new products.

The Brother MFC-9960DE is a multi-functional office appliance that prints, faxes, scans, copies, and also eats dick. Joel is upset that this new machine will phase him out as the household go-to for dick eating.

"The thing about these kind of machines is that they are jacks of all trades, but masters of none," Joel wrote, "Sure they can fax and scan pretty well, but their print quality and the depth of dick eating is cursory at best. This model barely even reached the base of my penis, let alone either of my balls."

A representative from Brother responded to Joel's letter a few hours later on Comcast Newsmakers.

"While it is true that the Brother MFC-9960DE is not the finest printer or copier around, it does a very good job at providing all of these services to people who cannot afford the expensive machines. And when it comes to home-office-level dick eating, this machine is more consistent and easier to operate than Joel."

Joel still maintains that he takes the extra effort of gobbling up balls. In the meantime, Lexmark has announced plans to build a collater that is Ethernet-ready and gives rim jobs.