UAG

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Shirtless Antiques Road Show

• Privilege Theatre: People Of Color Act Out What White Women Believe

• I Once Met Hoyt Axton: An Old Casino Teller's Boring Stories

• How They're Made: Boogers With Hair In Them

• Subway Sandwich Artiste Academy

Due to periodic contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• I Painted My Balls Like Sonny and Cher

• Sexually Suggestive Plumbing Fixtures

• Joan Osborne Dreams About What Her Life Would've Been Like Without Writing That Damn Song

• Scuzi! Clumsy Pizzeria Workers

• Tejano Covers of Katy Perry Songs That Are Actually Better

• Craft Tape Crafts featuring James Hurberry Who's In Witness Protection and is Actually Named Douglass Kiergarten

Some Upcoming Info Wars Conspiracies

You don't have to wait until the next broadcast to hear what Alex Jones and his team of writers have for you racist gullible types. Here now is a sneak peek of the outlandish connections and unverified clamshit that they'll try to pass off as news:

• Hidden Valley Ranch is a black-ops CIA operation where they grind Bibles and orphans' bones down into dust for spices and flavor.

• When you masturbate, the Obama-run IRS automatically downloads 30% of your dirty thoughts and posts them as "hentai" on reddit.

• Kirby Puckett was a German spy in cahoots with Suze Orman and the Muppets' Dr. Bunsen Honeydew to undermine American pride by having people spell words like "cheque," "flavour," and "colour" the English way.

• He-Man used to be totally gay for Skeletor, but thanks to conversion therapy, he's totally into She-Ra and hits that every night (high five).

• The big six Hollywood Jewish studios have rejected Alex Jones's screenplay about a heroic radio DJ who's pursued by hairy liberal women and scary black people because they're afraid that it's *JUST TOO GOOD.*

• Mexico has secretly agreed to pay for the border wall, but only if they're treated to a special impromtu concert with a supergroup consisting of Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, Mike Huckabee on bass and Kanye West.

• Melania has fallen in love with the president's animatronic robot in Disney World's Hall of Presidents and flies to Florida every weekend to be felt up by its metal hands.

• The Deep State liberals are poisoning young Christian minds with verified facts, statistics, context and an invitation to critical thinking in an insidious information delivery system once known as "books."

The Pathmark of Least Resistance

UAG

A Smecial Dreams Entry, With A Bonus Comparison Of The iPhone iOS6 and iOS7

iOS6: Lots of shading, bevels on buttons, "aqua" look on chat balloons, and bold, block fonts.

iOS7: Pared down and simpler graphics all around- no unnecessary shading on the battery icon, chat balloons or bevel in the time of day display. Lighter, airier fonts. Operates way slower and drains the battery like a motherfucker.

Whenever A Door Closes...

I happened by 41st Street yesterday and noticed that The Old Bridge Deli is no more. In its place is "Everyday Gourmet Deli." Crappy name. Under new management, I guess.


The first question I had was answered immediately with a sign out front:


FUCK YES. I guess we'll be trying out an old favorite in the new joint! No word yet on if they still have the random, vandalizable fountain upstairs. Stay tuned on whether we'll move Project Fountain to phase 3.