Somehow Already, It's Time Again To Say Goodbye To All The Shit That Advertisers Want You To Say Goodbye To

And this one isn't exactly a goodbye but is worth noting:

Goodbye! *Kiss!* Goodbye! *Wave!* Goodbye! Goodbye!

UAG

This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

As a Mario fan, I find this offensive.

As a historian and fan of dolphin jewelry, I find this offensive.

No change. Perfect.

One of the first things kids like to build in Minecraft is a no-name rapper.

Somebody's still bitter about that hug-with-a-pat from Chelsea.

I knew rappers talked with their hands, but this is ridiculous!

This brand of bud is called "Google Street View." Not sure why.

If a spaceship crashes anywhere near L.A., everyone would assume it's a shoot and ignore it.

The best way to cover up a shitty Photoshop job is to TRACE IT IN ILLUSTRATOR.

"Are you sure UPS is going to deliver it to the right address this time?"

"Leave it to me."

Neat. But where are the paintbrushes? And who paints from a La-Z-Boy chair?

One terrific pun is pretty wonderful. But two is a blessing.

Giant Hooker found the least conspicuous place to fart: Manhattan.

Much to Lil Tracy's disappointment, there was little to no moshing at the zombie prison camp.

Stand in the wrong place, and you change the name of your mixtape to FARTS 2.

The ProofrEADJer: A Star Wars Story

UAG

The Pathmark of Least Resistance

Here Are Your Timesheets

Hey guys. Gary here.

I know none of you like to get a nagging email from your President, urging you to complete your timesheets on time. It can only mean that Sara in Accounting is so fed up with bugging you that she's coming to me to bring the hammer down. So, that's why I'm here- I'm bringing the hammer down on those of you who feel like you're too busy or too special to do your weekly timesheets, and frankly, I'm a bit miffed at that.

We're trying to run a business here, folks. And that means every employee (yes, even YOU, Donavan!) needs to log in their time correctly and in a timely fashion SO THAT WE CAN BILL OUR CLIENTS. That last part is the most important, you see.

So please don't make me break out the tennis racket and start (lovingly) beating you all over the heads to get this done. DO IT TODAY BEFORE YOU LEAVE!!!!

That's all.

Gary

p.s. Here are the new codes for this week:

34543: Explaining vaping to someone

91190: Huffing glitter glue

27271: Psyching yourself up to take a dump

60013: Conjugating the word "to conjugate"

00088: Googling "Becky with the good hair"

34738: Burning for the microwave popcorn

83224: Re-folding the Twister mat correctly

77739: Asking what this meeting was about again?

25157: Convincing the Sharks that your business idea isn't total crap

93303: Making two corn cobs fuck to make baby corn

11198: Selling stolen office supplies back to the office

58588: Not staring at Cheryl's glass eye