Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Shirtless Antiques Road Show

• Privilege Theatre: People Of Color Act Out What White Women Believe

• I Once Met Hoyt Axton: An Old Casino Teller's Boring Stories

• How They're Made: Boogers With Hair In Them

• Subway Sandwich Artiste Academy

Due to periodic contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• I Painted My Balls Like Sonny and Cher

• Sexually Suggestive Plumbing Fixtures

• Joan Osborne Dreams About What Her Life Would've Been Like Without Writing That Damn Song

• Scuzi! Clumsy Pizzeria Workers

• Tejano Covers of Katy Perry Songs That Are Actually Better

• Craft Tape Crafts featuring James Hurberry Who's In Witness Protection and is Actually Named Douglass Kiergarten

A Nightmare Scenario

Imagine this: a terrorist chemical attack has just struck a major U.S. city. There are hundreds, possibly thousands of casualties, and the news station you intern for is about the break the story. But the problem is, the station's entire music library was deleted, and the ONLY music you can use for the intro to this breaking story comes from the play telephone on the Fisher Price Laugh & Learn® Fun With Friends Musical Table.

You cannot quit, and you will get FULL CREDIT for whatever airs. The cameras roll in six minutes. You must choose one of the nine music tracks to use. Not using music is not an option. Which do you pick?

Remember, this is for a major terrorist attack of a U.S. city.











Remember, this is for a major terrorist attack of a U.S. city.

Post your vote in the comments, and we'll see which track the news station would use!

DISASTER HAS STRUCK

You  know how we always brag about never missing a single weekday entry in EADJ's six year history, including holidays?

Well, we finally missed one: Memorial Day. Monday, May 28, 2012. Shit.

Not to make excuses, but this reporter had to go into work that day because some shithead scheduled a new business pitch on that Tuesday. So instead of relaxing and throwing in a lazy blog entry (most likely an Ugly Andrew Gall), I was working from 10am-11pm on some shitty presentation, and it never crossed my mind to post something. Anything.

THANKS, WORK, FOR FUCKING UP OUR PERFECT RECORD.