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I think that's a @istake.

A Smecial Dreams Entry, With A Bonus Comparison Of The iPhone iOS6 and iOS7

iOS6: Lots of shading, bevels on buttons, "aqua" look on chat balloons, and bold, block fonts.

iOS7: Pared down and simpler graphics all around- no unnecessary shading on the battery icon, chat balloons or bevel in the time of day display. Lighter, airier fonts. Operates way slower and drains the battery like a motherfucker.

For Sheezy Jolly Good Fellow!

Summer day for Joel.

Joel took a break from writing terrible screenplays to sit back on his back patio and eat some tropical dick, poolside. Too bad Mrs. Gufton from across the way also decided to tan her breast at the same time.

Joel eyed the long, flatulent breast that she set on the poolside table and for a moment was tempted to eat it. It was then that he saw the nipple on the end and lost his urge.

His chimp servant tried to set up a screen to shield Joel's eyes, but by then Joel had completely lost his appetite.

(pictured above, Jeff Epstein before shredding evidence of buying alcohol for minors)

Eating Dick and Naming Joel

"Joel, no. Don't touch that. That's not for you."

"Joel, come here. We're just here to make a deposit at the bank... JOEL. COME HERE. Don't start wandering or we'll never be able to find you."

"Hold my hand, Joel. Joel. Joel. Hold my hand, Joel. No, put that pen down. No, that's not for you, Joel. Joel."

"No, don't put the pen in your mouth, Joel. Joel. It's dirty. No. NO. JOEL. PUT DOWN THE PEN."

"That isn't a pen? What is that, Joel?"

"Put that dick down, Joel. You don't know where it's been. Take that dick out of your mouth THIS MINUTE, Joel. Don't make me tell you twice. JOEL!"

"Take that nice man's dick out of your mouth, Joel. I'm so sorry, sir. He's really not... JOEL. PUT THAT MAN'S DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH."

"JOEL."

"Joel, don't put another dick in your mouth. You just finished that other one."

"Stop it, Joel. Stop fondling the balls. Stop. Stop it right now! Stop teabagging the nice bank manager's balls. NO, JOEL."

"No. Joel. No. No. NO. NO. NO! You're going to ruin your appetite!"

"Do you not want to go to McDonald's after the bank, Joel? I guess you don't if you keep eating dick in the bank. No, you can't cry now. No, Joel. I warned you. I told you not to eat dick. Are you happy now, Joel? This was your doing. I'm very disappointed in you today, so you can cry all you want."

(pictured above, a student product design at Columbia College is inspired by two gophers fucking)