UAG

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Week of June 12

Twitter is just a big, dumb electronic megaphone that any moron can use. But even they have standards. The following are hashtags so unpopular, that maybe a bottom-feeding cockhole like yourself could use them. Go nuts:

#respecttheinjuns

#KraftSinglespasties

#poppinfresh'spenis

#TJMillercomiclegend

#gagmewithahobodick

#ConnectTwofordumbkids

#iscalpedtwoticketstoparadise

#ispankedthemonkeyandthenhebitoffmyface

#doingtheyougotsomethingonyourshirttricktosomeonewhojustlosttheirhealthcare

And Somehow, We Continue To Write Taglines For a Shitty Movie That's Been Out For Years

Know The Difference!

"Let's Go! Vroom!" is a children's book that accompanies a set of LEGO DUPLO blocks for toddlers.
"Let's Go Bang" is the second studio album by Jennifer Love Hewitt, released in October 1995.

"Let's Go! Vroom!" comes with 12 different fun pieces to assemble.
"Let's Go Bang" has 12 tracks, including an unnecessary cover of Bread's "Baby I'm-a Want You."



"Let's Go! Vroom!" introduces children to iconic vehicles like airplanes and racecars.
"Let's Go Bang" introduced children in the 90s to really terrible dance music.

"Let's Go! Vroom!" comes with easy to follow assembly instructions.

"Let's Go Bang" never got it together. The album was met with enthusiasm by several program directors at pop radio, but with the departure of Doug Morris from Atlantic Records in 1995, the plans for promotion were canceled.

"Let's Go! Vroom!" is available for $12.99 plus shipping from the LEGO Shop.
"Let's Go Bang" is available for $0.01 plus shipping from Amazon.

"Let's Go! Vroom!" is made from BP-free colored plastic.
Jennifer Love Hewitt is all natural, baby. ;P

A Brief Message From The National Book Council

Reading on a Nook makes you look like an asshole.


This has been a brief message from the National Book Council.

Introducing: The EADJ Facebook Defriender

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When it comes to Facebook postings, we at EADJ we believe in the "3 Strikes" rule; everyone gets several passes when it comes to posting stupid stuff on their Walls. But even we have our limits, which is why we've started the EADJ Facebook Defriender: a way for us to prune the tree of digital friendship when certain branches get annoying as shit.

This first pruning is our friend K_______ from ___________, who we know from _________. We posted some time ago when we noticed that K_______ uploaded very sexualized drawings of Betty Boop as their profile pic, in addition to posting every Farmville acquisition or horoscope she got daily. That's strike one.


Recently, they decided to post every music video that Nickelback ever produced. All at once.





Strike two. Then ON THE SAME DAY, when they ran out of Nickelback, they started posting music videos by Creed:


Fucking UNACCEPTABLE.


Auf Wiedersehen, K_______! Don't let the door hit your creepy cartoon ass on the way out!



GAME OVER

Spotted in Brooklyn

The guy at the Chinese restaurant finally replaces the missing "F" from his sign, thus avoiding any confusion over whether they also serve Irish food.

Something I Noticed in Vegas Hotel Rooms

(pictured above, like their slots, you always almost get three in a row)

New EADJ Series: What Dave Levy Lev'd Behind