Spotted in Brooklyn

The guy at the Chinese restaurant finally replaces the missing "F" from his sign, thus avoiding any confusion over whether they also serve Irish food.

A Smelly Hole

Earlier this week, Joel was trying to find the source of a terrible stench he had detected in his apartment. He had sent his chimp servant Chad Yarborough out for groceries, so he had to search alone.

Under the sink, behind the bookshelf, nothing. Joel even emptied all the leftovers from the fridge into a large trash bag and hurled it into the dumpster across the parking lot, but the heavy smell was still in the apartment.

Only towards the end of the night, when he was brushing his tongue in the bathroom mirror, did he notice a large chunk of meat that had wedged between his back molars. He flossed it out and the 3 lb. piece of dick fell into the sink. And the bathroom started filling with flies.

So it was Joel's breath all along! He slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand and turned to camera as a sad trombone played.

Making Douches With Bottles of Beer.

If the previous issue were any indication, August's issue of Wassup! Magazine was sure to be full of photos of douchebags doing backwards devil horn hand signals. But surprisingly, this was not the case. The magazine itself proved to be hard to find, since most bars in the Wicker Park area simply toss the stack of free magazines in the trash shortly after they are delivered. And you thought Cans had no taste!


The cover, at least, promised plenty of poor wardrobe choices and general cheesecock douchery. I also suspect that the cover's art director is a big Minnesota Vikings fan.


But a few pages in, EADJ was shocked to see such a dearth of devil horns.




Only until the very end of the issue were there any backwards devil horns. This one photo singlehandedly made the douche quota for Wassup! Magazine's editorial staff, ensuring another six months of funding by the National Endowment of the Arts and the Illinois Association of Journalists.



***CORRECTION: The photo labeled "Mothers 2" is actually The Windy City Inn.***

Let's keep this Nikki Train going!

Joel's latest misadventure was a violent altercation involving a salad bar, two squirrels and screenwriter Aaron Sorkin.

I won't bore you with the details, but suffice to say that no one will ever want garbanzo beans at that salad bar again, the surviving squirrel fit nicely into the dollhouse, and Aaron Sorkin is very, very angry about his ceiling now.

(pictured above, a legendary photo from May: Nikki hangs with two randoms in Fado, one of whom keeps a cartoon graveyard in his mouth)