This Week In Hip Hop Awfulness

Every song on this album is in the key of "sea." Get it? SEA? Get it?

Kent never liked using crosswalks. Especially when he's crossing an airport runway.

Where did Consequence find satin pajamas for a kid? I bet Sylvester Stallone is wondering who burglarized his bedroom.

"You got any more of them hat pins, man?"

Say what you will about Cartoon Lil Flash - he does practice good trigger discipline.

A man can only take so many episodes of "The Talk."

Mike regretted riding in the back of his aunt's El Camino through Atlanta's "paved" streets.

There's something wrong when your mixtape cover makes you think less of the rapper and more about Zappos.com's return policy.

Amazingly, this album is all tender love ballads with backing vocals by John Legend and Norah Jones.

The NJ Transit Survey Brochure Analysis, Chapter 2

Last week we posted the hidden meaning behind the photo in a NJ Transit Survey Brochure and happened to stumble upon a few enlightening facts. Here now, we attempt to delve a little further into the symbology behind this masterwork.

Typographical:

A quick font search revealed that the headline was typeset in Autograph Script EF Bold, by Eisner + Flake. The fact that it's a simulated autograph enforces the mimed human interactivity in the photo and the fake conversation is echoed in the fake "handwritten" style of the words. So whether this is a wry clue to the hidden meaning of the photo or just a lazy font choice to go with a lazy, un-thought-out photo shoot, we cannot be sure.

Spectral/numerological:

Based on a suggestion we got from the Kansas City Police Department, we broke the photo down into its most prominent colors, matched them to their Pantone® equivalents, then took those values, added the first three and divided the sum by the fourth number, and the number we ended up with, 6.374, is an interesting, helpful clue.

Now here's where it gets interesting: Lee's Movie Info reveals that on September 6, 1999, one movie happened to make a gross of exactly 6.374 million dollars. That movie? "The Sixth Sense."

THE SIX(!) PEOPLE IN THE PHOTO ARE ALL DEAD.

Something I Noticed in Vegas Hotel Rooms

(pictured above, like their slots, you always almost get three in a row)

Post-Christmas Wrap Up Get It

Why do some places WRAP the pictures hanging on their wall as Christmas decorations?


There's this shithole paella place on 9th Street in Brooklyn that does that.


Like, "Here, I got this for you. No I didn't. It's a decoration."


So festive, but not for you!


This place even did it to the picture frames in their bathroom.


But it wasn't the decorations, but this frame that got my attention:



Mofongo? What the fart is that?

Wiki sez: Mofongo is a popular Puerto Rican dish, made from fried green plantains seasoned with garlic, olive oil and pork cracklings, then mashed. Mofongo is usually served with a fried meat and a fish broth soup.

Sort of odd how they're advertising the crab mofongo when I'm about to make my own right there. Always thinking ahead!

Meanwhile, in the Creative Annex,

Two unbelievable fatties fight over a huge hamhock before heading to Navy Pier for fried dough and biscuits 'n gravy.