The ProofrEADJer: April Edition

It's Time To Say Goodbye To A Bunch of Things Ad Copywriters Want You To Say Goodbye To!

Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye! *kiss*

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Netflix This Month

Due to contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be removed from Netflix this week:

• Pus

• Zoey's Insufferable Playlist

• Seth MacFarlane's Animated Arcane References That Don't Know When To End

• The Deadliest Crotch

• Barack-ish

• Pretty Little Motherfuckers

Due to periodic contract negotiations, the following movies and TV shows will be added to Netflix this week:

• Bozark

• The Beastie Boys Live Documentary of 3rd Bass

• Stank Ass Hoe: The Musical

• But Wait, There's More! The Billy Mays Story

• Let's Glue Shit

• Antiques Road Hospice

The ProofrEADJer: November Edition

EADJ Wishes You A Happy Independence Day

Don't get sunburned. And stay close enough in the water so I can see you.

Some Pot Flavor Names You Won't See At Medical Marijuana Dispensaries

"Death Star Kush." "Maui Wowie." "Purple Urkle."

Now that medical marijuana is more widespread in the country, more pot dispensaries are naming their pot flavors "outrageous," "cool," and "edgy" names to grab customers' attention. Here now is a list of names they probably won't use:

• William Rehnquist

• No Workie On Cataracky

• Child Support Up In Smoke

• Doobie Brothers Pubes

• Not Cocaine

• Literally Clumped Up Cilantro

• Lung Raper

• Gary Johnson 2020

• I Support Our New Police State By Smoking This

• Tommy Chong's Eye Boogers

• Killing Me Softly With His Bong    no actually, that one's pretty good

• Silent Flaccidity

So This Is How Democracy Dies, With Thunderous Pathmark

TASK CHAIR IS BACK?! NEVER LEFT, BITCHES

WHO DOES A CHAIR HAVE TO BLOW TO GET A CAMERA OVER HERE?

TASK CHAIR IS HERE TO WHIP SOME WHINY PUSSIES INTO SHAPE. GET MAD! GET AGGRESSIVE! GET  PRODUCTIVE! 

TASK CHAIR HAS AN ADJUSTABLE SEAT TO ROB YOU CANDY-ASSES THE ABILITY TO WHINE ABOUT HOW YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING WITH AN UNCOMFORTABLE CHAIR. CHECKMATE PUSSIES, THIS CHAIR CAN NEVER BE UNCOMFORTABLE. YOU'VE GOT TASKS TO COMPLETE, BETTER HOP TO.

CLEAN OUT YOUR EARS AND TAKE THE NETI POT OUT OF YOUR ASS, CUZ TASK CHAIR JUST SPUN THE CHORE WHEEL AND IT LANDED ON YOU. BETTER WHIP OUT YOUR W2S AND CALCULATOR, BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO PREPARE YOUR TAXES BY YOURSELF. WHAT, YOU DON'T HAVE A CHAIR TO DO IT ON? NICE TRY, COCKSUCKER.

TASK CHAIR HAS ROLLING CASTER WHEELS TO GIVE YOU THE ILLUSION THAT YOU CAN LEAVE AT ANY TIME. NO, IDIOTS, IT'S FOR YOU TO QUICKLY ROLL TO THE PRINTER TO UNSTICK THE JAMS. AND WHERE'S MY COFFEE? SLACK FUCKWADS.

SO GET YOUR ASSES OUT OF THAT PAPA SAN AND GET SHIT DONE RIGHT ON A MUTHAFUCKIN' TARGET BRAND TASK CHAIR. GODDAMN THAT FEELS NICE TO GET SHIT DONE, AMIRITE?