🤯

Wait. Wait. Wait. You mean to tell me, these POTATO chips are flavored as French fried POTATOES?!!! GTFO

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Goo goo fuck you."

"Well, Karla, I guess you reap what you sow... in bed."

"Can a Roomba do this?" *takes top off*

"A classic tale of Girl Meets Poi"

"Okay, okay, I confess, Christine. I'm a professional clown. I dress up goofy and spray people in the face with a fake flower. I wear comically oversized shoes and pretend to slip on banana peels that aren't there. I ride around with 60 other clowns in a Mazda Miata, and yes, I do throw pies in people's faces and yes, I can sculpt literally anything out of long, squeaky balloons, but I do know this... I know that I am falling in love with you."

"Well, call me a triceratops, because I'm definitely horny!"

“Set Your Pathmark High, and Don’t Stop Till You Get There.”

 

More New Perks For AMC Stubs Rewards Members

The AMC Stubs Rewards program continues to dominate all other moviegoing rewards programs at AMC, thanks to its growing list of benefits and perks. Here now are the latest rewards you can expect as a member:

• If your age is a prime number, you get a nerd handjob in the theatre

• Free Reese's Sticks for every 3 times you watch "Killers of the Flower Moon"

• Shots? Shots! We're getting shots, bitch!

• VIP seating at the upcoming Machine Gun Kelly film retrospective

• Advance screenings of Maria Menounos pre-show bullshit

• Free prostate exams during "Asteroid City"

• Instead of close captions for the hearing impaired, our assistant manager will yell all the dialogue in your ear

• Popcorn bucket with Mickey Rourke's dick in it

Spotted on My YouTube App

Senator John Fetterman looking goooood.

The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

Meanwhile, in Joliet:

Wait a minute. I thought this one misspelled "PUTIN" but realized it's correct. And better.

Wait, which is the UNSWEET END? PUT IT IN – *RUMP

Spotted at Stop and Shop

Wait a minute. You mean to tell me the Manning brothers were professional football players and NOT professional models? But they're so photogenic!