The ProofrEADJer: March Edition

Meanwhile, in Joliet:

Wait a minute. I thought this one misspelled "PUTIN" but realized it's correct. And better.

Wait, which is the UNSWEET END? PUT IT IN – *RUMP

Fucking Hell.

 

"Hey Tiger, let's go for a walk," he said.

"Let's get some fresh air," he said.

He gets me up from a perfectly good nap near the radiator for "a walk," which actually turned out to be a quick drive Sears so he can watch "Finding Nemo" on Blu Ray rather than another grainy episode of "CSI" on his old-school standard TV.

Walk my ass.

And now I gotta poop something fierce, but he won't let me out of his lap because this is the part where Nemo meets Dory, voiced by the incomparable Ellen Degeneres.

I'm starting to think he's forgotten that he's not at home.

I remember Ellen Degeneres starring in a movie called "Mr. Wrong," where she played a straight woman who marries a psycho dude. Weird.

Well, at least it's nice and warm in here. Can't take a nap, though, because so many people (who smell terrible, by the way) keep walking by and saying how cute I am.
Can't poop. Can't sleep. And I've already seen "Finding Nemo" three times.
Fuck me.

Let's Cinch Open the EADJ Mail Sack!

(pictured, a photo accompanying an email from Lauren Fontinel who writes "Is this David Estoye???")