Here Are Your Job Numbers For The Week of November 7

 

Hi everyone. Management has asked me to remind you all that timesheets are due by 5pm today, with no exceptions. That deadline is firm, and I will not be accepting late timesheets as I have a softball game at 5:30 in Saugatuck and I cannot be late for that again. For those of you who do not have job numbers yet, here are the latest open project numbers for your forms:

81723 - Fully supporting what's just been said

01154 - Feeling euphoria at the last Powerpoint slide that says "THANK YOU"

58650 - Giving credit to someone before they have a chance to steal it

51449 - Announcing a hard stop at 5pm because of a softball game in Saugatuck

88381 - Using your Belk card

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Goo goo fuck you."

"Well, Karla, I guess you reap what you sow... in bed."

"Can a Roomba do this?" *takes top off*

"A classic tale of Girl Meets Poi"

"Okay, okay, I confess, Christine. I'm a professional clown. I dress up goofy and spray people in the face with a fake flower. I wear comically oversized shoes and pretend to slip on banana peels that aren't there. I ride around with 60 other clowns in a Mazda Miata, and yes, I do throw pies in people's faces and yes, I can sculpt literally anything out of long, squeaky balloons, but I do know this... I know that I am falling in love with you."

"Well, call me a triceratops, because I'm definitely horny!"