Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Goo goo fuck you."

"Well, Karla, I guess you reap what you sow... in bed."

"Can a Roomba do this?" *takes top off*

"A classic tale of Girl Meets Poi"

"Okay, okay, I confess, Christine. I'm a professional clown. I dress up goofy and spray people in the face with a fake flower. I wear comically oversized shoes and pretend to slip on banana peels that aren't there. I ride around with 60 other clowns in a Mazda Miata, and yes, I do throw pies in people's faces and yes, I can sculpt literally anything out of long, squeaky balloons, but I do know this... I know that I am falling in love with you."

"Well, call me a triceratops, because I'm definitely horny!"

Twitter's Least Used Hashtags, Special Valentine's Week Entry

Twitter sucks. Bunch of under-informed attention whores spouting worthless bullshit and other people commenting their bullshit on it. And with Valentine's Day here, all this bullshit gets cranked to 10.

But the twittersphere doesn't use some hashtags. Here are a few of the least popular ones this week:

#gloryholeromance

#celibacymakesmecum

#Ishavedmyrectumforthis

#savingmyselfforMorrissey

#ImsinglebychoiceImseriousDon'tlaugh

#IactuallyhaveasignificantotherbutIloveyourpity