Mildy Interesting

Air Fryer, Air Jordan, Air Fryer.

Memorable Lines From Movies I Haven't Watched

"Goo goo fuck you."

"Well, Karla, I guess you reap what you sow... in bed."

"Can a Roomba do this?" *takes top off*

"A classic tale of Girl Meets Poi"

"Okay, okay, I confess, Christine. I'm a professional clown. I dress up goofy and spray people in the face with a fake flower. I wear comically oversized shoes and pretend to slip on banana peels that aren't there. I ride around with 60 other clowns in a Mazda Miata, and yes, I do throw pies in people's faces and yes, I can sculpt literally anything out of long, squeaky balloons, but I do know this... I know that I am falling in love with you."

"Well, call me a triceratops, because I'm definitely horny!"

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To Hulu This Month

Hulu periodically renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to the service this month:

• Euphoria - Middle School

• Comedy Central Refuses To Present

• Insufferable Jokesters

• The Roseanne Show But Without Roseanne and Now Without The Kids

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Star Trek: Between Mission Downtime

• Bitcoin Commercials From a Year Ago That Didn't Age Well

• Old Sesame Street Episodes Now in A New Aspect Ratio Where You Can See The Puppeteers' Arms

• Kremating The Kardashians

Here Are More Unused, Terrible Porn Names

Congrats on nailing your audition to porn stardom! But before you can take your pants off again, you're going to need a pornstar name. Something that no one has taken yet. Here are some awful ones that were lying around, so have at it, sport:

HER: 

Shen Yun

Fallopia

Excedrin Headache

Phoenix Busstop

WiFi Assward

Alicia To Own Lexus

Tess TD

Ava Cado

HIM: 

Moe Joe Rising

Stu Pendulous

Coccyx Masculinity

Pope Francis

Al Dente

Oswald Gobblecock

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto On How To Swaddle A Baby

1) Fold the swaddle into a diamond shape, and place baby on back in the center with shoulders just below the fold.

2) Place baby's right arm alongside the body, slightly bent. Take the same side of the swaddle and pull it securely across baby’s arm and chest, tucking the fabric under the baby. Leave the left arm free.

3) Fold the bottom of the swaddle up and over baby's feet. Tuck the point of the fabric into the top of the swaddle.

4) Place baby's left arm alongside the body, slightly bent. Take the remaining swaddle, and wrap it over baby’s arm and chest, tucking the fabric under baby to secure the swaddle.

And speaking of wraps, there's this really terrific Mediterranean wrap place near my company's garage. And if you mention my name, the owner Jon will hook you up with free chips. No joke!

Be safe kids!

The ProofrEADJer: Almost Halloween Edition

This week: several people have trouble spelling "cashew:"