The Worst of All Possible Outcomes

Spotted today at the front entrance of the Old Bridge Deli, the beloved Rolly Wrap machine is slated for removal.



Here to commemorate the passing of a beloved foodstuff, a poem by e. e. cummings, slightly altered for this entry:

i carry your rolly wrap with me


i carry your rolly wrap with me(i carry it in
my stomach)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no bread(for you are my bread,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it's you are whatever that guy with the mustache and dirty apron has always meant
and whatever an oven will always bake is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the menu that offers roni, cheesy, super, munch roll, or veggi

i carry your rolly wrap(i carry it in my stomach)


e. e. cummings

*

Today EADJ will be trying something different. Let's open the latest issue of Mid Atlantic Fisherman and see what's keeping all those fishermen from being truly happy:


* Ric is four car payments behind as of last Thursday, and his gout is acting up again. Also, the Blockbuster near him is closing, and he doesn't want to spring for DirecTV.


* As a child, Ruta had been promised a trip to Disneyland many times, but she was never taken. It still pains her to see photos of Cinderella's castle.


* Rick has come to the conclusion that he will never understand women. The movie "Nights In Rodanthe" was confusing to him.


* Martin yearns for the day that he can look outside and not see his neighbor's children dealing drugs on the corner.


* Don keeps hearing how good that television "Glee" is, and he's actually recorded all of the episodes on his DVR, but he recently found out from his daughter that he's probably too old to appreciate it.


* Jim can't get over the guilt of strangling that Cracker Barrel waitress.


* Kip is still wondering why all his high school buddies keep avoiding him, and what he did so long ago that they won't forgive him for. He's too embarrassed to ask one of them what it was.


* Mitchell's sister moved without telling him or leaving any forwarding number.


* And Mitchell's sister owes him a lot of money for helping her through nursing school. He sticks his neck out for her, and this is the thanks he gets?

Somebody Needs To Update Their Display at Target

Mel Tells The Baltimore Story

My cousin Mel tells the story about my mother (who he calls "Auntie Boots") and his last visit to Baltimore.



Click here for more cousin Mel-related fun.

After-Holiday Wrap Up Entry

Turn the volume up for this one.

Spotted at a Fine Retail Store in Jersey

A "watch-Daddy-take-a-shit" seat in the bathroom stall.




Precious moments.

I Found This In My Parents' Computer Desk Over the Break

Happy New Year, everyone!