An Imagined Conversation

"Okay, now look into the camera with some intensity... that's it. More intense, like this is all about the rugged outdoors, with danger, disaster and the triumph of sheer will-power... Nice, that's better! But don't look angry now, I want you to be intense but not resentful. Just a slow, intense burn.

"Now, don't arch your brow too much, because that makes you look quizzical– and you're not. You know exactly what you're doing. This is all about control, and you are the boss in this situation. You are the chieftain. The alpha male. That's better! Yes! YES! That is a PERFECT LOOK for this shot. You look absolutely fierce and dangerous now!... Oh and you holding the fish, you look good, too."

*

Today EADJ will be trying something different. Let's open the latest issue of Mid Atlantic Fisherman and see what's keeping all those fishermen from being truly happy:


* Ric is four car payments behind as of last Thursday, and his gout is acting up again. Also, the Blockbuster near him is closing, and he doesn't want to spring for DirecTV.


* As a child, Ruta had been promised a trip to Disneyland many times, but she was never taken. It still pains her to see photos of Cinderella's castle.


* Rick has come to the conclusion that he will never understand women. The movie "Nights In Rodanthe" was confusing to him.


* Martin yearns for the day that he can look outside and not see his neighbor's children dealing drugs on the corner.


* Don keeps hearing how good that television "Glee" is, and he's actually recorded all of the episodes on his DVR, but he recently found out from his daughter that he's probably too old to appreciate it.


* Jim can't get over the guilt of strangling that Cracker Barrel waitress.


* Kip is still wondering why all his high school buddies keep avoiding him, and what he did so long ago that they won't forgive him for. He's too embarrassed to ask one of them what it was.


* Mitchell's sister moved without telling him or leaving any forwarding number.


* And Mitchell's sister owes him a lot of money for helping her through nursing school. He sticks his neck out for her, and this is the thanks he gets?

Possibly a New EADJ Feature: JERFIELD!

We took word balloons from the character Jon in "Garfield" and put them on Jerald Johnson's photo. The results so far have been spectacular.

(click to enlarge)



Works with "Andy Capp" and "Peanuts" word balloons, too!

What Dave Levy Lev'd Behind, Parto Quatro

Introducing: Tara Humann– Account Supervisor, and pretty good actress.

KARRIE would like to be added as Joel's friend!

Hi Joel,

KARRIE would like to be added to your MySpace friends list.

By accepting KARRIE as your friend, you will be able to send KARRIE personal messages, view KARRIE's photos and blog, and interact with each other's friends and network!

KARRIE'S general interests include: candles, history, aromatherapy, massages, camping, hot dogs, sleeping, dogs, art, photography, internet, painting, makeup, cloves, cooking, scrapbooking, hanging out with little ones, traveling, 1920's, meeting new people, trying new things,Nip/Tuck, Snowmobiling, Fourwheeling, Fishinng (sic), Camping, Rafting, Snowboarding, Hot Pink Gerber Daisies, Sun Rise, Swedish Fish, Adventure, Traveling, Didgeridoo, Splashing in Puddles, Sushi, Cuddling, Nude Art, Snowflakes, Iccy Hot (sic), Horoscopes, Old Couples Holding Hands, Dimples, Trust, Late Night Phone Calls. That pretty much makes her totally compatible with you.

No wait. Your general interests are "eating dick, wiping off chin, and eating more dick?"

Never mind.

-myspace

NOTE: Just so you know, here are some of Brad Harvey's interests: wood screws, nutella, farming, vodka crans, pooper scoopers, Eliza Dushku, "The Parent Trap," penguins, computer speakers, pizza, Don Knotts, strawberries, skating, lying down, thumbtacks, seagulls, The Dharma Initiative, flavored teas, Corpus Christi, Dr. Feelgood, Ben Latimer, oatmeal, CD-R's, fellowship, urine, beartraps, Sissy Spacek, dungarees, clogging, crystal meth, falling off wolves, hepatitis, backyard wrestling, and K.T. Tunstall.