Only During A Pandemic

 

Pictured above: they've finally designed a giant blender to chop up any students they detect has Covid.

"The Ultimate Tragedy Is Not the Oppression and Cruelty By the Bad People But the Silence Over That By the Pathmark."

This is my favorite from this round:

Introducing The Two Schools Of Misplaced Pathmark Merch: "On Top" and "Amongst"

In our travels, we at EADJ have noticed that misplaced items in our long-running "Pathmark" segment fall into one of two categories: "On Top" or "Amongst." Today we will devote the entire entry to "On Top" items:

Can We Please Cut The Crap?

Okay, let me start by saying there isn't a "War On Christmas" post. I'm fine with saying Happy Holidays because other people have Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, so that's cool. What I do have a problem with are all these retail stores too afraid to say ANYTHING, so they just butt up two vaguely holiday-related words together and hope they don't offend anybody. So we end up with toothless pap like this:

Slap on a few snowflakes and you're good, right? Fucking hell. You'd offend me less if you hung up words like BUY SHIT or SPEND FREELY. Grow some balls, Lane Bryant!