Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Every so often, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies due to server size. Here now are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• Mark Maron Almost Comes Up With a Complete Comedy Bit

• Chernobyl: The Musical

• Two Broke Girls and One Cup

• Top Gear: EV Edition

• Severance: The Joan Severance Story, Not the Popular HBO Show

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Axl Rose's Yelling At a Farmers Market

• Diners, Drive-Ins, Dives & Depression

• Chernobyl: The Game Show

• Project Runway / America's Next Top Model combination show where a totally unqualified runway model wears some ineptly designed outfits

• Thorjack Norseman

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Every so often, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• Bill Maher's Podcast While On The Toilet

• Suck Session (NC-17 version of Succession)

• Law & Order: Parking Violation Unit

• Making the Band of Brothers

• Star Trek: Tales From the Jefferies Tubes  

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Meet the Press Press the Meat

• Extremely Awkward iCarly Cast Reunion

• Reno 311!

• Twin Peaks 2024: Still Weird

• Pawn Stars: Ripping Off More Druggies

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

 Every so often, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to the streaming service this month:

• Prescription Road Show: How Much Is This Stolen Medicine Worth?

• Documentary: SKORTS: A Cultural Touchstone

• Fresh Prince From Bel Air Reboot Reboot

• Paul Giamatti Does Dramatic Readings of Safe Meat Handling Brochures

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Lord of the Rings: Fellowship Of the No Wait It's a Game of Thrones Show

• Alternative Sopranos Series Where Tony Runs a Successful Dry Cleaners Business

• Succession/Billions Crossover Event

• Problematic Looney Tunes Cartoons From Back When They Were Funny

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on a proprietary algorithm. Here are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• Kangaroo Jack II: Kill 'Em All

• A Documentary About Podcasters Talking About Podcasters Talking About Podcasters

• Juggalo Gigolos

• R. Kelly Rappin' With Kids

• Honey Boo Boo Gets A Job

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• We Built Geocities In Real Life

• Napkin Folding

• Pretty Little Lying Shitstains

• Hufflefuck (NSFW)

• America's Got Scabies

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, HBO Max renews or cancels titles based on their algorithm. Here now are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• A Serbian Film : The Animated Series

• Bruce Willis is Phoning It In

• Gargling Justice

• Fox News Fact Checkers

• Literal House Flippers

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Game Show: Can You Pass This Through Your Body?

• The Emo Bachelor

• Behind The Scenes of a Rural OTB

• Undercover Chinese Factory Boss

• Roseanne Reboot (starring Roseanne)

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, Hulu renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here now are all the shows that will be added to Hulu this month:

• Darn Them Hamsters!

• Michael Bay reboots Tuesdays With Morrie

• Why You Are NOT In Denial

• How Green Was My Vagina

Here are the shows and movies that Hulu is removing from their lineup this month:

• Willy Wonka and the Rampant OSHA Violations

• Spinoff: The King of Queens' Brother's Girlfriend's Aunt

• Meet The Press X Wipeout Mashup

• Bill Burr & Lavell Crawford Lie On a Pile of Money For 5 Hours

• Majestic Squid

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on viewer preferences. Here are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• The 72 hour Zack Snyder Justice League Extended This Is The Real Version Version

• Cassie & Her Lint Roller

• A Wild, Hilarious Road Trip With Romanian Prime Minister Nicolae Ciucă

• 2 Hours of Chris Hemsworth Manscaping

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Mennonite Glory Hole

• Sanka! The Musical

• Roomba Pimps

• Biker Flower Arranging

• Football Playoff Games That Won't Count

Comic Strip Where The Last Panel Is Always A Remote Oil Rig

So Where On The EADJ Crappinuum Did "Humanity's End" End Up?

(click to enlarge)

The most awful part of "Humanity's End" isn't in its lack of story or mediocre acting. It's biggest crime is in its proppage; it honestly looks like the prop master went to a dollar store with two twenties and bought the entire set, props and maybe even wardrobe there, along with some gifts for his kids and a pack of smokes.

The bickering of the crew was actually pretty enjoyable. But the stereotypically EVIL EVIL bad guys were unfortunate.

I would say that "Humanity's End" sat somewhere between "Unbeatable Harold" and "Da Station" for overall suckage. That's pretty low on the Crappinuum, which means it was pretty fucking piss-awful.

If "Humanity's End" were a cupcake, I'd throw it against a wall and draw a chalk circle around where it stuck. What does that even mean?

Voila!

(pictured above, J'Net displays our neighbor Peter's fabulous hallway shoe collection and aroma wonderland)

A Disturbing Tale of Extreme Neglect

EDITOR'S NOTE: The following account is a true story of house plant neglect and contains graphic photos and descriptions. Sensitive pussies are encouraged to read something else.

Over the summer, I witnessed my neighbor Peter abuse a plant in the most heartless way I can possibly imagine. It probably stemmed more from laziness than hatred, but the result was still the same: the needless, shocking death of an innocent plant.

It started out as a simple airing out of the plant. Letting it sit outside and enjoy some rays.


You'll notice that the plant is literally CHAINED to a wall. This is because neighbor Peter had lost another plant to a thief earlier that month.


One theory of why the other plant was stolen was because it was thought to be garbage. Pretty understandable, really.


Oddly, the plant– who we'll call "Seth" from here on in– was set back on the planter stool but never watered. Prisoners at the infamous Abu Ghraib were also forced to stand on platforms against their will.


The heat got worse as the summer went on. June was in the upper 90's almost every day.


Adding insult to injury, neighbor Peter installed an air conditioning unit in the window right above the plant, giving it occasional droplets of water but blasting it with even MORE heat.


Eventually, Seth refused to stay on the planter stool. He became withdrawn and moody.


And at some point in August, the chain that had kept Seth prisoner so long was loosened. But it was already too late. Perversely, a shovel had been placed near Seth, a hollow promise of replanting him somewhere moist and green. It was nothing more than psychological torture.


Seth became unresponsive and was almost complete brown by late August. Some community leaders held a candlelight vigil for Seth one night, singing "High Hopes" and holding hands.


Seth died September 18, 2008. He was finally placed atop his planter stool and put out with the trash. The trash he had shared so much time with in his last months of life. Seth will be survived by a car battery and two bags of shredded paper.



With Seth at rest, the longtime cycle of abuse by neighbor Peter has come to an end. OR HAS IT??!?!?!?!?!


DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!

How We Do in BKLYN

(pictured above, my neighbor Peter learned that he had to chain his plants up when leaving them outside to get fresh sun after one was stolen. Which reminds me– I totally forgot to ask him how often to water the ficus.)