🤦

Pictured below, Saks communicates to out-of-touch rich people that they too are out-of-touch and are perfect for them.

25 Days of Hallmark Movies, Day 1: "A Shoe Addict's Christmas"

Romance Factor: 3 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 6 out of 10

Overall Rating: 4 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 01:25:06

A Change In Lineup?

You regular reader(s) know that I enjoy my local newscasters, Maurice Dubois (it means "of wood") and Kristine Johnson on CBS 2 News. Why? Because not only they are a comely couple, their between-story banter has the proper balance of pleasant and quick.

Now, mind you, this type of banter is not easily attained. It is a delicate entity that can only be nourished by years of reading stories next to each other and learning each other's rhythms. And it's this light banter that helps ease a viewer from one horrific news story about an accidental beheading to another about a python eating an old folk's home. So imagine my surprise at turning to the national news at 6 and seeing THIS:

Has Maurice hit the big leagues? HE MADE IT TO THE SHOW?! When was I informed of this?! And who's taking Maurice's place back at the farm?

Mother of peroxide. Alice motherfuckin' Gainer is back to destroy a good thing. She just can't resist tearing Kristine from her man and absolutely destroying any good newsroom banter, can she? Alice Gainer. Goddammit.

Voila!

(pictured above, J'Net displays our neighbor Peter's fabulous hallway shoe collection and aroma wonderland)

Not Everyone Is Watching The Olympics.

Pop Quiz

One is a public bathroom at an Exxon station on the New Jersey Turnpike. The other is a bathroom at an office building at an advertising agency in Manhattan. Which would you rather use?

Curlz! Curlz! Curlz!

A short list of phrases I'd like to see typeset in Curlz:

Signature of parents required for abortion patients under 18

NO JUSTICE, NO PEACE

Rated R for Graphic Violence, Nudity and Frightening Images

Death to America

CROATOAN

May contain nuts

Senior Thesis by Joel Thomas

Joe Nudelman. A Fond Remembrance.

Pictured above, Joe Nudelman (don't laugh) in a moment of repose. This reminds me of an old 1961 George Tames photo of JFK: