Thanks, Reese's. I was getting sick of those meat-based peanut butter cups.
Showing posts with label plants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plants. Show all posts
Monday, July 3, 2023
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Entropy At Pathmark
The Second Law of Thermodynamics states that in general, the total entropy of any system is always increasing.
EMBRACE THE CHAOS. WHITNEY HOUSTON CD COLLECTION.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Spotted On A New York Subway Platform
Forty feet underground and surrounded by concrete and glass, life finds a way.
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
A Disturbing Tale of Extreme Neglect
EDITOR'S NOTE: The following account is a true story of house plant neglect and contains graphic photos and descriptions. Sensitive pussies are encouraged to read something else.
Over the summer, I witnessed my neighbor Peter abuse a plant in the most heartless way I can possibly imagine. It probably stemmed more from laziness than hatred, but the result was still the same: the needless, shocking death of an innocent plant.
It started out as a simple airing out of the plant. Letting it sit outside and enjoy some rays.
You'll notice that the plant is literally CHAINED to a wall. This is because neighbor Peter had lost another plant to a thief earlier that month.
One theory of why the other plant was stolen was because it was thought to be garbage. Pretty understandable, really.
Oddly, the plant– who we'll call "Seth" from here on in– was set back on the planter stool but never watered. Prisoners at the infamous Abu Ghraib were also forced to stand on platforms against their will.
The heat got worse as the summer went on. June was in the upper 90's almost every day.
Adding insult to injury, neighbor Peter installed an air conditioning unit in the window right above the plant, giving it occasional droplets of water but blasting it with even MORE heat.
Eventually, Seth refused to stay on the planter stool. He became withdrawn and moody.
And at some point in August, the chain that had kept Seth prisoner so long was loosened. But it was already too late. Perversely, a shovel had been placed near Seth, a hollow promise of replanting him somewhere moist and green. It was nothing more than psychological torture.
Seth became unresponsive and was almost complete brown by late August. Some community leaders held a candlelight vigil for Seth one night, singing "High Hopes" and holding hands.
Seth died September 18, 2008. He was finally placed atop his planter stool and put out with the trash. The trash he had shared so much time with in his last months of life. Seth will be survived by a car battery and two bags of shredded paper.
With Seth at rest, the longtime cycle of abuse by neighbor Peter has come to an end. OR HAS IT??!?!?!?!?!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!
Over the summer, I witnessed my neighbor Peter abuse a plant in the most heartless way I can possibly imagine. It probably stemmed more from laziness than hatred, but the result was still the same: the needless, shocking death of an innocent plant.
It started out as a simple airing out of the plant. Letting it sit outside and enjoy some rays.
You'll notice that the plant is literally CHAINED to a wall. This is because neighbor Peter had lost another plant to a thief earlier that month.
One theory of why the other plant was stolen was because it was thought to be garbage. Pretty understandable, really.
Oddly, the plant– who we'll call "Seth" from here on in– was set back on the planter stool but never watered. Prisoners at the infamous Abu Ghraib were also forced to stand on platforms against their will.
The heat got worse as the summer went on. June was in the upper 90's almost every day.
Adding insult to injury, neighbor Peter installed an air conditioning unit in the window right above the plant, giving it occasional droplets of water but blasting it with even MORE heat.
Eventually, Seth refused to stay on the planter stool. He became withdrawn and moody.
And at some point in August, the chain that had kept Seth prisoner so long was loosened. But it was already too late. Perversely, a shovel had been placed near Seth, a hollow promise of replanting him somewhere moist and green. It was nothing more than psychological torture.
Seth became unresponsive and was almost complete brown by late August. Some community leaders held a candlelight vigil for Seth one night, singing "High Hopes" and holding hands.
Seth died September 18, 2008. He was finally placed atop his planter stool and put out with the trash. The trash he had shared so much time with in his last months of life. Seth will be survived by a car battery and two bags of shredded paper.
With Seth at rest, the longtime cycle of abuse by neighbor Peter has come to an end. OR HAS IT??!?!?!?!?!
DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!
Monday, May 26, 2008
How We Do in BKLYN
(pictured above, my neighbor Peter learned that he had to chain his plants up when leaving them outside to get fresh sun after one was stolen. Which reminds me– I totally forgot to ask him how often to water the ficus.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
