UAG

Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Periodically, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies based on a proprietary algorithm. Here are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• Kangaroo Jack II: Kill 'Em All

• A Documentary About Podcasters Talking About Podcasters Talking About Podcasters

• Juggalo Gigolos

• R. Kelly Rappin' With Kids

• Honey Boo Boo Gets A Job

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• We Built Geocities In Real Life

• Napkin Folding

• Pretty Little Lying Shitstains

• Hufflefuck (NSFW)

• America's Got Scabies

An Imagined Conversation

"Wanna cig?"
"Sure, thanks. Don't mind if I do."
"I got a lighter here somewhere..."
"No, wait. You can't smoke in here."
"Why not?"
"See the sign? It says no smoking. That an alarm will sound if we do."
"No, that's not what it says at all. It says that no smoking alarm will sound if we smoke. So it's cool."
"Well, if that were so, the word 'alarm' would be on the same line as 'smoking.'"
"There! I found my lighter!"
"Yeah, I don't think we should smoke in here."
"You're totally reading into that sign. It says it's cool to smoke and not to worry, no smoking alarm will sound if we do smoke."
"Why would they put up a sign that says 'it's cool to smoke?' Wouldn't they more likely put up a sign that says 'no smoking?' And what the hell is a smoking alarm?"
"A smoking alarm is what goes off if you're smoking where you shouldn't. Which is what they're assuring us will NOT go off if we smoke here."
"I don't mean to overthink this..."
"I think you are."
"...but wouldn't they just put a sign that says 'SMOKING PERMITTED?'"
"What if they couldn't spell the word 'permitted?'"
"Yeah, I guess you're right."

*casually lights cigarette*
**** ALARM SOUNDS ****

An Ad Spotted in An In-Flight Magazine

An ad for Blu "premier" electronic cigarettes- not those cheapo ghetto electronic cigarettes you grab at any bodega- endorsed by "DJ Heavy Grinder."

So it's a no-tar, no-ash, no-odor, electronic cigarette that makes you look like you're sucking on a pen light. But is it still addictive and cause cancer in infants? I hope so.

It sort of makes sense that a girl with colored contacts, dyed hair and a faux fur would endorse a fake cigarette. And her man hands makes me think DJ Heavy Grinder's got another secret. Pickle!

Here's the link to Blu Cigs.

And here's DJ Heavy Grinder's myspace page.

A Solution of Sorts

(pictured above, a DIY fix from my Dad after his cooking set off the smoke alarm too many times)

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with The Metro Smog Check

The area around downtown Memphis has an Air Quality Index (AQI) of 53 today, which is a "moderate" level for people who are unusually sensitive to pollutants. They should limit prolonged outdoor exertion, according to the EPA.

And speaking of air quality, I really hate it when someone lights up a cigarillo in my town car. Especially the cherry-flavored ones. By the end of the night, they make me smell like a hooker!

Graffiti. New York's Greatest Export.

Let's Slacken Up the Tight Opening of the EADJ Mail Sack!

(The above photo was sent by Andrew Gall of the Creative Department Annex. It's of a Smokey Bones restaurant, which is pretty much guaranteed to be near a Cellular South store.)