Here Are The Shows That Are Being Removed And Added To HBO Max This Month

Every so often, HBO Max renews or cancels shows or movies due to server size. Here now are all the shows that will be added to HBO Max this month:

• Mark Maron Almost Comes Up With a Complete Comedy Bit

• Chernobyl: The Musical

• Two Broke Girls and One Cup

• Top Gear: EV Edition

• Severance: The Joan Severance Story, Not the Popular HBO Show

Here are the shows and movies that HBO Max is removing from their lineup this month:

• Axl Rose's Yelling At a Farmers Market

• Diners, Drive-Ins, Dives & Depression

• Chernobyl: The Game Show

• Project Runway / America's Next Top Model combination show where a totally unqualified runway model wears some ineptly designed outfits

• Thorjack Norseman

All the Movies and Shows Named After Apples in Stop 'N Shop

 

In our spare time, we like to peruse the produce at Stop 'n Shop. When we got to the apples, there was this lovely and sorta helpful sign that showed the names of apples and their place on the sweet/tart continuum.

This got us to thinking, which TV shows and movies have already used some of these apple names?

Here they are, according to our research team:

A Quick Review of "Calvin Pissing On Obama" Stickers

President Barack Obama, while serving two terms, has endured years of obstructionist politics, thinly-veiled racist questions about his citizenship and religion, and even the occasional dismissal of not being "black enough" by cable news pundits. What he doesn't realize, however, is that there is an entire cottage industry of Obama-hating in the form of cheap vinyl stickers you can buy and stick on the back of your racismobile. Here now is an objective rating of the "Calvin pissing on Obama" stickers for sale online:

Visual: Calvin pissing through the Obama logo.

Pros: Full 4-color printing

Cons: Relies on the outdated Obama campaign logo which is hardly seen anymore

Overall rating: 8 out of 10. Simple and iconic, but ultimately confusing (to the target audience).

Visual: Calvin pissing atop the Obama logo.

Pros: Full color Obama logo the main focus and direct the eye.

Cons: Still relies on the outdated Obama campaign logo. Actually a nice reproduction of it.

Overall rating: 6 out of 10. Bonus points for the nice custom die cutting.

Visual: Calvin pissing on the word "OBAMA"

Pros: Simple and to the point.

Cons: Kind of lazy, really. Calvin looks like he has cardinal eyes.

Overall rating: 4 out of 10. 

Visual: Female Calvin (??????) pissing on the word "OBAMA" with the "O" as his logo.

Pros: Ambitious and breaking out of the mold

Cons: NOT LADYLIKE AT ALL. And are her pans even pulled down? Disgusting.

Overall rating: 2 out of 10. I know these things aren't supposed to be in good taste in the first place, but JEEZ.

Visual: Another female Calvin pissing on the word "OBAMA"

Pros: She removed her panties this time.

Cons: The mullet. The heart ass tattoo. Also, not much of a tinkle there, really. And the word "OBAMA" somehow resembles the word "SPAM" if you're not looking close enough.

Overall rating: 2 out of 10. 

Visual: Generic "cool guy" pissing on the word "OBAMA"with the "O" as his logo.

Pros: Able to avoid copyright infringement.

Cons: I really lose the evil glee when there are sunglasses on. 

Overall rating: 5 out of 10. 

Visual: Happy coal miner pissing on the word "OBAMA" while holding a flag next to the words "SAVE COAL"

Pros: A clear, political message. A smoky miner's face with a lily white ass.

Cons: Both oversimplified and overcomplicated. While it is true the Obama administration pushed to create new "clean energy" jobs and technologies, making America more energy independent, and reducing carbon emissions through the Clean Energy and the Recovery Act, this only indirectly impacted the current coal industry.

Overall rating: 7 out of 10.  Boy, look at that healthy yellow stream!

Visual: Rude cowboy pissing on the word "OBAMA"with the "O" as his logo.

Pros: To the point.

Cons: Why the black nail polish? Is that cowboy a goth? 

Overall rating: 4 out of 10. 

Visual: Calvin pissing on what appears to be Barack Obama's head

Pros: No text! Also, points for not getting to racial stereotype with Obama's features.

Cons: Beyond fucking awful. Bill Watterson would lose sleep over this one.

Overall rating: 1 out of 10. 

Visual: Stu pissing on the word "OBAMA"

Pros: Great for Millennials, who have never read Calvin and Hobbes!

Cons: Kind of off brand for some reason. Rednecks watch "Family Guy?"

Overall rating: 3 out of 10. 

Visual: Calvin with a backwards cap pissing on the word "OBAMA"

Pros: A bro-ish update to a classic! 

Cons: Very poorly rendered. It looks like he's bleeding on the word.

Overall rating: 3 out of 10. 

Visual: Calvin with a FORWARDS cap reading "LIBERTY" pissing on the word "OBAMA"

Pros: A point for liberty and against Obama, right? Is that what it's saying?

Cons: Very disrespectful to the Liberty Mutual Insurance Company.

Overall rating: 3 out of 10. That kid looking Asian doesn't clear up my confusion any.

Six Lies Told By The New Jersey Performing Arts Center Brochure

1) "Stone's throw away," my dick. Clive Barnes of the New York Post is located on 47th Street and Avenue of the Americas- a good 14 miles from the NJPAC. If you can throw a stone 14 miles, Clive, then you're underusing your Kryptonian superpowers and have a lot of unrescued orphan buses to answer for.

2) That photo is not of famed cellist Yo-Yo Ma but of his practical joker brother Bao-Zhi Ma. What a kidder!

3) Diana Krall, Yo-Yo Bao-Zhi Ma, and Cesar Milan did not receive special permission from the NJPAC to appear in photos without their fat face resting on their hand like the other 5 celebs.

4) Alicia Graf Mack was not required in her Alvin Ailey performance to jump from the stage to the fifth level balcony. She just did, and everyone was basically cool with it. Mostly.

5) "Purchase parking in advance and save," my dick. You save like .50 on the pass, but they charge you a $2 "convenience fee" for the online purchase. Do yourself a favor and just ride on the bumper of the city bus. Fuck it.

6) "This is not a 'since we're going to the theater, we may as well eat here' place…" If that were true, why would Nico advertise on a theatre brochure? How disingenuous is that? "Oh, we are totally a destination restaurant, so fuck the theatre, but if you are going to the theatre, you should check us out." Eat my dick, Nico. As soon as Joel is done with it. You'll get your turn.

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EADJ is thrilled to announce a collaboration with Tesla Motors, a project 4 years in the making. Coming November 2016, the Tesla Model 6L a mid-priced premium electric vehicle which will be rolling off the assembly line just in time for Christmas of 2016.

Some features of the 6L:

• A 185 kWh battery that lasts for 6 months without a charge

• Ramp handicapped access to the 3rd row

• 0-60 mph in .35 seconds

• Quadruple motor all-wheel drive

• Unfair comparisons to Joe Isuzu

• Giant, hideous "6" vinyl sticker, totally removable

And Then The Universe Folded In On Itself.