Spotted at Target

 National Geographic presents a Glow-in-The-Dark Crystal Lab:

Sure, Nat Geo. Let's introduce our kids to the concept of cooking CRYSTAL in a LAB. 

"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

Burning Questions About an FB Ad

An ad spotted in Facebook:

Some questions:

• Can I put Crystal and Chakra Healer Certification on my resume?

• Do I get a handy ID card for my wallet?

• Why is the certification process 85% off all of a sudden?

• Will regular people be able to tell a certified healer from a non-certified one, and how?

• Does being a certified healer protect me from fraud lawsuits?

• Is someone trying to rip me off when all I'm doing is trying to rip other people off?

• How do I *know* if the people certifying me are actually certified themselves?

Dive In

Spotted in the Tomahawk Lake Waterpark brochure: a list of waterslide names that are coincidentally  also the names of services offered by a gay massage parlor nearby.

UAG

From a Dumb Commercial

EDITOR'S NOTE: The reason that I'm posting this now is that I no longer work at the ad agency that created this commercial.

"Hello, Enterprise Rent-A-Car? Can you pick me up? I'm at a repair shop. And I know this because there's this gigantic sign saying REPAIR SHOP inside the shop, almost in the mechanic's way. Why do they have such a big, obvious sign?"

"Hello, hysterical woman. Yes, I personally will pick you up. My name's Brad. I've got a waterbed at my apartment."

"So you just came here to fuck me?"

"Good God, that is a huge fucking sign."

UAG

Let's Wind Copper Wire Around The EADJ Mail Sack To Increase Its Reception!

Submitted by John Reid, an unnecessary headline pun:

An Imagined Conversation.

"So dude, which insect repellent should I get, the Cutter Skinsations Ultra Light or the Cutter Advanced Sport?"
(long silence)
"When were you going to tell me you were gay?"

Horrible.

Pictured above, someone in New York questions the Dog Whisper Cesar Millan's sexual preferences.

Monday Entry, An Entry For Monday

Click to enlarge, an ad found in Parade Magazine, which comes in most Sunday papers.

A Quick Note For The Fine Folks at Istanbul

Hey Istanbul Dudes-

I've seen you used Photoshop to create some sort of clipping path around the food for your takeout menu. Since you had it open already, you know you could've changed the color balance so the meat didn't look so green, and those two things on the right wouldn't look so much like glistening turds.

Sincerely,
Matt G