Spotted at Target

 National Geographic presents a Glow-in-The-Dark Crystal Lab:

Sure, Nat Geo. Let's introduce our kids to the concept of cooking CRYSTAL in a LAB. 

"I AM THE ONE WHO KNOCKS!"

Burning Questions About an FB Ad

An ad spotted in Facebook:

Some questions:

• Can I put Crystal and Chakra Healer Certification on my resume?

• Do I get a handy ID card for my wallet?

• Why is the certification process 85% off all of a sudden?

• Will regular people be able to tell a certified healer from a non-certified one, and how?

• Does being a certified healer protect me from fraud lawsuits?

• Is someone trying to rip me off when all I'm doing is trying to rip other people off?

• How do I *know* if the people certifying me are actually certified themselves?

And Now, Vince's Uncle Roberto with How To Winterize Your Car

To keep your vehicle in good working order this winter, get the right kind of oil change. The oil used should have the right viscosity, or thickness, for your vehicle at this time of year. Oil tends to thicken as it gets colder, and if it’s too thick it won’t do the best job of keeping your engine lubricated.

Speaking of thick, one time in Great Neck some guy had this really obese girl as a prom date and it ended up ruining my shocks. I'm not trying to be mean, but lose some weight, Missy!

"Honeymoon Photos? OH BOY!!!!"

(pictured above, John Reid wants to run, but cannot move his legs, but cannot wake up from this nightmare)

Curlzbiquitous.

(pictured above, proof that Lincoln Park sucks demon asshole)

20+ bonus points for including a silver Hummer in the crop.