EADJ Pun Police: Space Precinct Edition

"Gear up, space LEOs! It's time for you beat cops to do some patrol work and weed out any insidious puns that you find in this sector of Moon 562. Get to it, officers!"

"Gee, that's painful. But a misdemeanor at worst. Issue a ticket and carry on."

"'WineDown'? That is BAD. A real 4-80 groaner pun there. Take them into custody and maybe let them spend some time in the cooler to think about what they've done."

"Okay, Officer Cybo-3 tracked this one down on the restaurant platform. 'STEAK ME HOME TONIGHT' is egregious. Plus it forces me to hum Eddie Money, so that's a felony."

"Oh, another one from the SAME restaurant? Okay, bring out the paddywagon ship. We're hauling everyone in there to the clink."

"Red alert! We have a code black situation on the restaurant platform! The entire menu is full of horrible seafood puns! Put up the barricades, lock the whole block down! God help us all!"

UAG

 

6 Lies Told By The San Francisco Ripley's Believe It Or Not Museum Brochure

1) The dance room isn't actually interactive. The stupid lights will blink and flash whether you dance or not. A ripoff, really.

2) Not the weirdest place on the Wharf. The weirdest place on the Wharf is actually a section of sidewalk where some guy hiding as a bush scares the shit out of tourists and then asks for change.

3) "Tattoos cover 95% of my body!" Not true. I dated her, and it's a mere 93%. I measured it.

4) "Made entirely of CAR PARTS." False. There are clearly minivan, delivery truck, and hybrid crossover parts in there.

5) Times up. You're too old to breakdance.

6) "Odditorium, San Francisco." Redundant.

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Monday Entry, An Entry For Monday

Click to enlarge, an ad found in Parade Magazine, which comes in most Sunday papers.