New Products Announced at This Year's Consumer Electronics Show

The Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Las Vegas is the industry's leading showcase for premiering devices, hardware and peripherals for consumers. 

Here are most exciting announcements from the 5 day show: 

• a scanner that your grandma can easily operate whenever you're around but can't when you're not

• Sony's new tablet that automatically connects your bank account to a Sony account

• a restaurant table device that you can pay your check with, except this time it's even MORE filthy!

• a clothes dryer that GIVES you a random sock whenever your do a load

• AI powered refrigerators that won't open if they don't like how you're talking to your wife

• a wearable digital thingie that looks stupid as fuck but also is kind of pointless and expensive

• Samsung's revolutionary all-digital Butter Churn 2.0

• a handy taser for police that automatically tases anyone who's filming the incident

The ProofrEADJer: President's Day Weekend Edition

Let's Polish The Candle Snuffer With The EADJ Mail Sack!

John Reid texted these two items recently:

"It says 'vaggggina.'"

A Quick Note For The Fine Folks at Istanbul

Hey Istanbul Dudes-

I've seen you used Photoshop to create some sort of clipping path around the food for your takeout menu. Since you had it open already, you know you could've changed the color balance so the meat didn't look so green, and those two things on the right wouldn't look so much like glistening turds.

Sincerely,
Matt G

Damn, I Missed the Previous Three.

Okay, I know EADJ doesn't do this Curlz MT bit anymore, but this flyer for the Fourth Annual Mental Health Film Festival had some other stuff going on besides that typeface, so try to ignore that...

• Two bucks sez the movie with the Agoraphobic Mom has a line like, "Take it easy, Mom!"
• "Working Like Crazy" wasn't the first choice for the filmmakers of a movie about mental health in the workplace; "Clocking In-SANE," "Obsessive Compulsive Disorderlies," and "Wack Job" were other contenders.
• Those stray stars bug me– they're kind of driving me nuts.

Is that a Joel in your pocket, or are you just happy to eat dick?

Joel has always been a big proponent of dick-eating. But not everyone is as fortunate as Joel.

In some impoverished parts of the country, there are people who eat only 2 or 3 dicks A MONTH. That amounts to fewer than 30 dicks a year, which is far below the dickpoverty line. Joel has started a grassroots community outreach program called Joel's Seriously Huge Dick In Po' Folks' Unwashed Mouths For Charity Foundation in his hometown Los Angeles. Since its inception in 2002, over four dozen outreach centers have blossomed into full campuses with working toilets and dick cafeterias. Joel's proud, smug grin beams from huge billboards across the street from these centers, proclaiming "If You Broke, You Gonna Still Eat Dick, Y' Herre?" And while many of these centers have closed due to asbestos or goat infestations, Joel has remained a symbol of putting dick on poor families' tables.

(pictured above, a rare and beautiful thing: Pro-establishment vandalism)