Still More Puddles of New York City, Identified By Pantone Number

Pantone continues to document the peacock-like array of NYC puddles. In a few years, they plan to release a Pantone guide made up exclusively of the city's liquid excretions. Enjoy this New Year's Collection:

Can We Please Cut The Crap, Part II

Read this previous entry to see what the hell we're talking about.

"The Weak Can Never Forgive. Forgiveness is the Attribute of the Pathmark." -Gandhi

An Open Letter To "Nyosha G"

Dear Nyosha G,

Thank you so much for the wonderful package from Bedbathbeyond.com. Like your sticker on the side says, it was certainly packed with pride. I have never seen a showerhead so meticulously prepared for shipping the way you lovingly prepared its uncertain journey. You certainly take *PRIDE* in your job.

A couple of questions: That one loose sheet of paper among all the packing peanuts that had the hand-scrawled message "PLEASE HELP ME" in crayon. That was a joke, right, Nyosha? Thought so! Good one! LOL

Also, along the side of the box, there were some odd numbers that didn't match my tracking number. They looked like this:

6.1750° S, 106.8283° E

Now, my husband tells me that those are actually global coordinates to a small sweatshop in Jakarta, Indonesia, but he's an X-Files fan, and you can't trust him with his silly conspiracy theories!

Anyhoo, I just wanted to thank you for packing such a wonderful package, Nyosha G.  The showerhead will be a lovely present for my Aunt Hazel, and I'll be sure I'll tell her "hey" for you!

Take care, dear!

Chelsea D

Bangor, Maine

The ProofrEADJer, Mid-December Edition

Can We Please Cut The Crap?

Okay, let me start by saying there isn't a "War On Christmas" post. I'm fine with saying Happy Holidays because other people have Hanukkah or Kwanzaa, so that's cool. What I do have a problem with are all these retail stores too afraid to say ANYTHING, so they just butt up two vaguely holiday-related words together and hope they don't offend anybody. So we end up with toothless pap like this:

Slap on a few snowflakes and you're good, right? Fucking hell. You'd offend me less if you hung up words like BUY SHIT or SPEND FREELY. Grow some balls, Lane Bryant!

Let's Put Grease in The Greaseless EADJ Mail Sack And Sue The Manufacturer When We Get Our Hands Burned!

Submitted by Andrew, via SMS:

"I don't understand why this exists"