25 Days of Hallmark Movies: Day 9: "With Love, Christmas" Starring Emilie Ullerup and Aaron O'Connell

Whoa. There are two main takeaways from this one: 1) Even amongst Hallmark Christmas movies, there's a line to how many decorations you should put in scenes. This movie crosses that line and seems to fill every ashtray, urinal and tracheotomy stoma opening with some sort of decorative bauble or trinket. 2) Hollywood will never, ever, ever understand the business of advertising in a trillion years.

Plot summary: "Ad executive Melanie is teamed up with uptight coworker Donovan to come up with the ultimate Christmas commercial for a new cell phone. To complicate matters, Donovan is also Melanie's Secret Santa recipient in the annual office gift exchange. Keeping her identity secret, Melanie sends him emails from "Santa" to determine the perfect gift for him. When Donovan mistakenly assumes another co-worker is his Secret Santa, Melanie must work to show Donovan that she’s the only Santa for him."

Romance Factor: 9 out of 10

Christmas Cheer: 7 out of 10

Overall Rating: 8 out of 10

Time Until First Kiss: 1:23:00

The ProofrEADJer, Mid-December Edition

Forbidden Conversation Topics When You Go Pumpkin Picking

It's that time of the year again- to go with your loved ones to the local farm and pick out pumpkins for decoration or cooking. Of course, after you get there, it gets pretty boring in that field and you'll want to start a conversation. For when you do, here are some topics you SHOULD NOT bring up during your trip to that patch:

• Your 12 miscarriages

• How lazy black people are

• Your shitty podcast

• AIDS

• How iTunes ruined the music business

• The animation style of "Star Wars Rebels" vs. "Star Wars: The Clone Wars"

• Deadly vermin found in pumpkin patches

• The old horror movie "Basket Case"

• People you've murdered and buried in this pumpkin patch

• How lazy Mexicans are

• How your "gaydar" has improved lately

• Hey, remember Michele Bachmann?

• Why your penis curves

• Christmas

UAG

An IM Convo

I got this IM from Tom Weingard (note the shitty AT&T reception in fucking Manhattan):

 

Here's the link he sent.

 

I didn't get around to telling Tom that the Scott Peterson we do a bit about isn't the murdering Scott Peterson.

 

So for getting the wrong Peterson wrong twice removed– through no fault of his own because he's never met the non-short, non-fat (?), non-murderer Scott Peterson from Chicago– I think Tom should win some sort of award or something. Like the inverse of a Golden Mollusk Award.

So at the bottom of this page, we have bestowed upon him the first Kevlar Portuguese Man Of War Award, which at pawn shops can command an impressive $15. Congrats, Tom!