Showing posts with label fancy ketchup. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fancy ketchup. Show all posts

Thursday, June 9, 2022

An Imagined Conversation


"You unimaginative hack!"

"You backstabbing prick!"

"Whoa whoa whoa. Jared. Allison. What's going on here?"

"Hey Maxine. I'm glad your here. You can finally settle this."

"Settle what, Jared?"

"I just sent the new APPROVED ketchup label along with the specs to the printer, but Allison here suddenly has a problem with it now."

"You're damn right I do, and you tried to sneak it past me, you steamrolling prick!"

"Allison. We're all on the same brand team, here. Let's not use personal attacks. So what's the problem with the label, Allison?"

"Remember that design review last week when we recapped the typeface placement at the top?"

"Yes."

"Well, Maxine, look closely."

"..."

"Do you see it?"

"Wait. The hyphen is upside down now."

"Fucking THANK YOU."

"It's not upside down, Maxine. I saw it as an art mistake."

"But we approved it last week, Jared, you asshole."

"Yes it WAS approved. But I saw that it was a droplet that was mistakenly upside down and I corrected it before it went out."

"Why the fuck would there be a droplet in the place of an apostrophe, you dimwit?"

"Because it's a goddamned KETCHUP DROPLET on a goddamned KETCHUP BOTTLE, you cow!"


"Guys, guys guys. This is not constructive. We have to either let it go as is now or pull the entire label print run which will push us back two weeks. What's it gonna be?"

*conference door opens*

"Oh! I'm sorry to interrupt. I'm Seth, the new intern. I was just going to clean the room before the next meeting... oh hey, that's cool. A droplet as the apostrophe? Very cute detail! Okay, sorry to interrupt your brainstorm, guys. I'll come back later!"

Monday, January 17, 2011

Decisions, Decisions.

Spotted at a fish shop in Jersey: two ketchups and a group of fries are the only constant.


Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Joel of all trades. Master of dick.


Joel didn't do much today. Except his whites in the warm cycle. And eat dick. He's eagerly awaiting a phone call from Paramount Studios, who have apparently taken interest in his script about a skinny copywriter who eats dick and cries during "Grey's Anatomy." The working title is called "Atkins Moonshine & Dick." Johnny Depp, Casper Van Dien, and Joel Thomas have already expressed interest.

(pictured above, the rarest of photos: Reception still open at 5:40 pm)